What Muggles don't know
by KeikoHPfan
Summary: Someone saves Harry from Death Eaters, and is in return brought to safety by the Boy Who Lived. And of course, Severus has to babysit the very annoying Savior's savior. As if his life wasn't complicated enough. Not DH compliant. SS/OC with a hint of DM/HP. My favourite fic.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K. Rowling, obviously, but thanks for asking.

**Warnings:** Probably some violence.

**AN: **I know Prince's Choice of Doom isn't done yet - and for those who are reading it, don't worry, I'll finish it - but this story was trying to get out for some time... So here it is! It's quite different from my other fics... I hope you'll enjoy it! R&R pretty please!

Someone is screaming. Terrifying screams of pain that I cannot ignore. I walk as quietly as I can, trying to see through the darkness of the alley what the hell is happening here. And where are those damned policemen when you need them? Shit, there's someone lying on the wet pavement. A young man, it seems. People wearing strange black robes and brandishing odds sticks are surrounding him, and he's screaming his throat raw. I can't see any injuries from where I'm standing, but the pain seems to be unbearable, and his screams slowly change in desperate and heartbreaking moans. Shit. The people around him are laughing and shouting words I don't understand. Maybe they're strangers? Typical bullies, in any case. Eight against one they are, the bastards.

I'm running before I even know what I'm doing. I could never stand injustice. Or violence. My DocMarten's boots are heavy and several of the men turn their head toward me.

"Leave him alone! I've called the police!"

I'm lucky it's so dark and they can't possibly see my face, because I'm an atrocious liar. Probably the worst liar in the history of humanity. The men closest to me take a few steps back, and I can see their young victim better. He must not be more than twenty. He's wearing jeans and an oversized tee-shirt, and the ugliest trainers I've ever seen. He's shaking, his pale face surrounded by damp strands of nearly black hair, and there is blood on his left cheek and on his lips. His eyes meet mine and my breath catches in my throat. He has striking green eyes and he looks terrified. But more than that, he looks completely defeated and resigned. I kneel next to him and glare at his attackers the best I can.

"Leave him alone!" I repeat loudly, and I really hope someone will see us and actually call the police, because it seems very unlikely that those men will simply do as I ask.

"She's a Muggle." One of the men say, snorting.

A what? Is that a new insult?

"Just kill her and grab Potter."

Shit. What the hell have I gotten myself into now? I feel suddenly very cold, and I look at the dark haired man lying on the ground. He's looking at me with a strange expression, and all of a sudden, he reaches out and grabs my forearm in a tight grip. He doesn't speak but there's a strong determination in his eyes that I find strangely reassuring.

"Stop them!"

"Stupe-"

Something hits me just above my heart before I can even scream and the world disappears. The last thing I'm aware of is the feel of a cold hand on my arm. It really has been a shitty day.

HP-HP-HP-HP

I wake up with a stiff and sore body. My head feels heavy and weird, like it's been wrapped in cotton. I struggle to open my eyes. The roof above me is a light grey color – it was probably white thirty years ago or so. So apparently I didn't die, because there is no way this could be heaven – or hell, for that matter. At least I'm lying on a very comfortable bed and covered with a enormous duvet, even if I'm a bit worried to discover that my shoes, socks and trousers are gone. I try to sit up but my body doesn't react the way I want him to. Annoying, really. So instead I look around, hoping to understand where I am, what I am doing here and who brought me here – and more importantly, who the hell has removed my clothes.

It looks like a bedroom. There are heavy black curtains on my right, certainly hiding a window, and the walls are painted in the same greyish color the roof is. There is a candle on the bedside table, which I find kind of weird. I turn my head to the left and gasp out loud. There's a man sitting in a chair next to the bed. He's dressed all in black, much like the men in the alley earlier. Shit, have they brought me here? I try to move, slightly panicking at the thought – okay, more than slightly.

The man has black eyes, and shiny black hair that is tied on his neck. He looks tall and slim. He looks at me steadily, merely raising a dark eyebrow.

"You might not want to move so much."

"What?" My voice is barely a whisper, and I curse myself for being so weak. I wish I were braver.

"You've been… sort of injured. Knocked out. It would be better for you to stay still and rest for a while."

"Where is the young man? What have you done to him?" I'm rather proud to hear that my voice is louder and that I sound much more confident than I feel.

The man chuckles softly, and the sound is surprisingly melodious.

"His name is Harry, and he's safe. Now stop talking and rest."

"I want to see him. And who are you anyway? And where the hell are we?"

"I swear I'll kill Poppy for torturing me like that."

"Who's Poppy? And what's that with killing and torturing people?"

The man looks at me with a mean sneer, but there's an almost amused light in his eyes. At least I hope it's amusement, because otherwise he just looks like a psychopath.

"Do you never shut up?"

"I've tried to help a young man who was apparently being beating up by psychopaths looking a lot like you do, I've somehow passed out, I wake up God only knows where and you're here and you don't say anything useful, so no, I won't bloody shut up anytime soon unless you answer some of my questions!"

Shit, that did not come out as calmly as planned. The man has raised one eyebrow again but looks otherwise unimpressed with my outburst.

"You should calm down, it's not-"

"And stop fucking telling what I should do!"

"I understand why fate put you on Harry's way, at least. You would get on quite well with him."

I try to sit up again and this time I manage it. Well, I collapse against the headboard in a rather ungraceful manner, but I'm quite proud of myself all the same.

The man frowns at me and I scowl in return. He shakes his head, and I keep on looking at him. And he still doesn't talk. I suddenly feel like crying. I'm scared and I'm helpless and I don't understand what is happening to me.

"Look… just… just tell me what you're going to do with me."

"Nothing. You'll be going as soon as you're able to. To be honest, I would just have left you in front of a muggle hospital or something, but Harry is quite stubborn and insisted that you should be taken care of here, and of course Poppy sided with him, so…"

I look at him, trying to decide if he's lying or not. He looks bored and annoyed with me, but sincere, I think. I hope. I have to ask something else, though.

"What the hell are muggles?"

The man looks at me with a blank look, and then he sighs.

"This is going to be a very long day" he mutters under his breath.

I think I can relate to that, at least.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K. Rowling, obviously, but thanks for asking.

**Warnings:** Probably some violence.

**AN: **And here comes the second chapter! I hope you'll like it! It's a great experience to write from a first person point of view, and I really appreciate the new challenge. R&R please!

"Are you in pain dear? I have to know if you're hurting or experiencing any discomfort."

"I'm just a bit sore, but I'm feeling well enough. Are you Poppy?"

"Yes, dear. I'm a... nurse, I guess."

"You guess?"

"Well, in our world-"

"Poppy!" the dark haired man interrupts rather rudely.

"Yes, right, sorry. I know you probably have billions of questions, and I'm sorry I'm not allowed to answer any of those – and you know how I feel about this, Severus."

"Yes, yes, Poppy, you were very clear. I'm only following the rules."

Poppy snorts loudly and keeps on tapping her stick lightly on my arm, forehead, mouth and neck. I can't help but flinching every time, but at the same time, I trust her. She looks kind and motherly, and I'm pretty sure she would not hurt me. Plus, she said she's a nurse, which is a good point for her. She has brought two other candles with her, and the room is bathed in a soft and warm light.

"Severus, get out, I have to check the rest of her."

"Poppy, how old do you think I am? I've seen enough-"

"It's not about you; it's about her and her privacy! What do you think she will do to me anyway? She's a Muggle and she won't be able to stand on her own for a couple of hours at least! I may have to follow these stupid rules, but I will not have you disturbing my patients! Out!"

The man called Severus – and isn't that a weird name? – scowls but he does as requested, and my respect for Poppy increases tenfold. I smile and she smiles in return, and there are pretty wrinkles around her eyes as she does, and I smile even more.

"He's not so bad. Just a bit paranoid. And he keeps on forgetting that he doesn't impress me at all. I've healed and ment him countless times, after all. So, let's see how you're doing. By the way, what's your name, dear?"

"Emma."

"That's a lovely name."

Poppy removes the duvet and I feel exposed and vulnerable, lying here in nothing but my underwear and a tee-shirt. Poppy touches my legs and belly lightly with her wand, whispering quietly. She nods from time to time, and then she tucks me in again.

"Perfect, Emma. You'll be a bit sore and dizzy for a few more hours, but everything is fine with you. You should rest for a while, and I'll make you something to eat."

She's about to leave the room when the door opens and Severus enters again.

"Stay, Poppy, they're coming."

"Harry too?"

"You know how he is."

Poppy sighs heavily and sits down on the only chair, leaving Severus to stand next to me, his back to the black curtains. He has crossed his arms on his chest and he is as tall as I've thought he would be. He's not really thin, though, I can see how toned his arms and chest are. I guess his height and the black robes he's wearing makes him appear slimmer than he really is. I raise my eyes to take a better look at his face and I flush as our eyes meet. I realize he's just caught me staring. Shit, that's embarrassing. He raises one eyebrow again, and I wonder if he's able to have another expression than scowling or raising an eyebrow, since the rest of the time his face is perfectly blank. I'm unexpectedly saved from my embarrassment when someone sits on the other side of the bed and takes both of my hands.

"Harry?"

"Yes, I'm Harry."

He smiles brilliantly and I'm relieved to see he seems alright, if a bit pale.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, yes I am. Thanks to you. I don't even know your name."

"Oh! I'm Emma. Are you..." I don't know how to ask this. "Are these people your friends?"

"Yes, you have nothing to be worried about! Please believe me, it's alright. Nobody here will hurt you, I promise you're safe."

Strangely, I believe him. He's looking at me with those green eyes, and I feel he's probably as bad as lying as I am. I smile.

"Okay."

"Are you okay? Were you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine. Poppy said I'm fine." I look at her and she nods, looking at Harry with a fond smile.

"I can't believe you did that, you know. Coming to my rescue alone, when you didn't even know me!"

"Yes, that's quite an interesting story."

That's when I realize that there are four other people in the room. The tall red haired man who has just spoken has his arm around a slim woman with lots of curly hair. He looks suspicious and slightly angry, and his girlfriend shots him a warning glare before smiling to me. Her eyes sparkle with intelligence and kindness, and I like her instantly. Next to her stands another woman, quite pretty with her auburn hair and fit body. She scowls at me and crosses her arms defensively. I think I won't like her so much. And a bit apart from the other is another man. He is nearly as tall as the red head, but he has the most unusual hair color, a very light blond that seems almost silver, and beautiful features. His grey eyes don't leave Harry, as if he's afraid the other man might disappear at any moment.

I look at Harry again, whose head is cocked to the side, looking at me in wonder.

"Why did you help me?"

"I had to." I answer, because it's true.

"I don't believe her. Are you sure she's a Muggle?"

"Ron! I do believe her."

The bushy haired girl seems convinced and she smiles again. I feel everybody's eyes on me, and I shift uneasily. The blonde man doesn't say anything, but he nods stiffly when Harry looks at him. I hope that means he's on my side.

"It makes no sense. Nobody just throws themselves in harm's way for people they don't know."

"Well, Harry does." The blonde man has a soft voice, and Harry chuckles next to me.

"What did you expect me to do? Leave him to die on the pavement? What sort of person would that make me? I couldn't! He was lying there and screaming and the other men were hurting him! I had to do something! I couldn't have just walked away!"

Fuck, I can't believe I have to justify myself.

"Emma, I believe you and I'm very grateful you did it. We all are. Please, let me explain. I know it's all very confusing and it's probably frustrating to have everyone doubting you, but we have our reasons."

The redhead's girlfriend sighs. "First of all, I am Hermione. I believe you already know Poppy, Harry and Severus. My rude boyfriend is Ron – but you may call him Ronald if he misbehaves. Here's his sister, Ginny. And the quiet young man over there is Draco."

"Draco? It's quite an unusual name. It suits you, though. And you two make a lovely couple." I smile at him and Harry, and I'm a bit surprised to see a confused expression on Harry's face. In fact everybody looks surprised, except Draco, whose pale face is flushed, and Severus, who tries to hide his chuckle behind his hand and fails miserably.

"Erm... Draco and I are just friends, Emma."

"Oh! Really?" I frown. "Well, sorry, my mistake then."

They are perhaps not a couple yet, but that may change. Maybe I could do something about that, if I keep in touch with Harry, after... After what, exactly?

"So, hum, yes. As I said, we have our reasons. We have to check if what you say is the truth, Emma. I would like to spare you this, really, because I'm a hundred percent sure you're exactly who you seem to be, but unfortunately it's not enough. Severus?"

The dark haired man comes closer to me, and his black eyes bore into mine. He whispers something and I hear Harry yelling "no", but it's too late, it's too late and I feel like my skull is about to explode, and I want to scream but I can't. I can't, and suddenly all I can see are memories, my memories, bad and good, even those I swear I wouldn't think about ever again, and the pain in my chest becomes more unbearable than the pain in my head, and I wish I would just pass out.

Then it's over, and someone wipes the tears on my face, whispering he's sorry. It's Harry, and his handsome face is taut with anger and sadness, and he holds my hand. But it's not his fault. Severus hasn't moved, he's still looking at me and I have to look away. Whatever just happened, I don't want to experience it again.

"She's telling the truth." Severus says, but he doesn't seem relieved with the statement. I'm not, either.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K. Rowling, obviously, but thanks for asking.

**Warnings:** Probably some violence.

**AN: **Thanks for your kind reviews! And here you are! Enjoy and review, please!

I know I'm gaping rather inelegantly. I know it, but I can't find it in me to just close my mouth. I'm barely able to blink.

"I know it seems crazy, but it's true" Harry says with a small smile.

"Crazy?" Crazy doesn't seem to be an appropriate word. "I mean… You're telling me that you're all wizards, and you're living in a hidden world right under our eyes. You've been at war against another bunch of wizards – which I find really stupid, if you ask me – and Harry killed their leader five months ago. Severus was some kind of double agent and Draco betrayed his family to join your side. And the remaining bad wizards are still giving you trouble so that you are somehow still fighting on a daily basis and trying to catch them, put them on trial and hopefully have them thrown in a prison for wizards."

Harry nods with a smile, as if what I've just told is perfectly normal.

"And you're expecting me to believe it? Are you all high or what? And what the hell did you do to me earlier?"

"I've read your mind."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I've read your mind. As Harry told you, we're all wizards. And I'm able to perform a specific spell, Legilimens, that allow me to read your mind, more specifically to see your memories and some of your thoughts."

I feel suddenly very cold.

"Emma, Severus won't do it again, and he won't tell anyone what he saw. You can trust him" Hermione quietly says, and it doesn't quite reassure me. I look up to watch Severus' unreadable face. His eyes are strangely alive, though, and I have to look away.

"So you're kind of a hero, aren't you, Harry?"

"Well…"

"Yes he is. But he's too fucking noble and humble to admit it, so we do it for him" Draco soft voice says, and Harry blushes deeply.

"Shit. I think I need a drink."

"No alcohol permitted after such a strong Stunning spell, dear. You can have a cup of tea, though."

"That's the best you can hope for until Poppy says you're okay, you know."

Harry's voice is gently teasing and I know he's trying to make things lighter. I feel Severus' eyes on me as I try to stop my hands from shaking. Draco comes to stand near Harry, who's still seated on my bed.

"You know, Emma, you can ask us to prove what we say. I would want to see evidence if I were in your place. And… I can understand if you feel… estranged here."

Draco's voice is slightly hoarse and I can hear the echo of a past pain – I guess he was probably considered with suspicion after he betrayed his family. I almost smile when Harry's hand brushes Draco's, his knuckles touching the other man's ones for the tiniest moment. The gesture is barely conscious but so sweet and caring that I wonder how Harry can be that oblivious of his own feelings. One look at Severus tells me there's a least another person who's perfectly aware of those.

"I think… I think it makes sense. I saw the men in that alley… They had those sticks… Wands? They weren't touching Harry, but they were hurting him all the same… And the words they were saying… At first I thought they were strangers because I didn't understand them, but as they spotted me they spoke English… Oh fuck… Poppy… Are you sure I can't have that drink? A very small one?"

Harry bits his lip with a smile and Draco chuckles, and as I raise my head I can see that everyone is smiling – except for Severus, of course, and Ginny. The auburn haired girl is still scowling at me, and I wonder why she seems so angry with me when I don't know her at all. It's only when she looks at Harry that I understand. That one is in for a pretty rude awakening.

"Did you perhaps take my bag with us when you, erm, whatever it is you did to take us here?"

"Your bag? I don't think so. I mean, if you didn't hold it the moment we Apparated away, then no."

"Well, shit. My whole life is basically in that bag… My personal papers, my keys, my phone…"

"Your personal papers and your keys?"

"Well, yes."

Harry exchanges a concerned look with the tall red head – Ron – and I guess that's not good for me. Not that I still expect a good surprise at this point, mind you.

"That means we have another problem. We'll have to check on your flat tomorrow morning, but I'm not very optimistic." Ron shrugs, and I see Draco and Severus nod.

"What the hell does that mean now?"

"They will probably wait for you at your place, and try to get information on me. There's no way they'll believe it was a coincidence."

"It's been a long day. I think we should all eat something and call it a night." Hermione smiles at me again, but her eyes are serious. "Emma, we'll let you rest. Poppy will bring you something to eat, and Severus will stay with you. Don't hesitate to ask him if you're in need of something."

Judging from his incredulous glare, I guess it would be better for me to wait till morning comes instead of asking him anything.

Later that night, after Severus has somehow changed his chair in a soft-looking bed and blown the candles, I stay awake for a long time, eyes wide open in the darkness. My mind is a mess, with so many disturbing thoughts and strange questions floating in there that it's a wonder that I'm still sane at this point. Severus' breathing is quiet and regular and I wonder if the man is asleep. It's doubtful, since he's probably trained enough to stay awake all night – waiting for me to do something that would threaten their security.

I feel lonely and scared, and it is slightly possible that I'm actually crying a bit. I'm a bit ashamed of the fact that Severus can probably hear me, but at the same time, I'm strangely relieved for his silent presence.

I fall asleep thinking about the next day, and how my life could possible get more complicated.

Maybe I will wake up tomorrow morning and discover that it has only been a very weird dream. I cannot decide if that would be a good or a bad thing.

HP-HP-HP-HP

Apparently it was not a dream. Or a nightmare.

Which means I wake up feeling a lot better than the day before, but still in the same greyish room. And Severus' bed is a chair again, and he's seated on it and fucking watching me again.

"You should stop doing that, you know."

"Doing what?"

"Watching me sleep. It's creepy."

"Get over it. Where are you working?"

"What?"

"Where are you working? We're afraid that Harry's attackers might try to find you at work. I'd like to put a few protective charms on the building to protect your coworkers and eventual clients or customers."

"A Starbucks Coffee in St John street."

"You're working in a coffee shop?"

"Yes. And please spare me your comments. Yes, it's a substandard job, but it pays the bills and there wasn't much choice for me when I- well, never mind."

"I wasn't going to say anything about your choice of career" Severus says a bit stiffly.

"Oh, erm. Anyway I guess I will have to find another job soon, if I'm not able to go back today. It's not like I could tell them I've met a bunch of wizards and have been nearly killed saving their hero." I laugh, but it's half-hearted. God knows I need this job. Shit.

"Don't worry about that. We'll take care of it."

"What?"

"I'll just Confuse them a little and they'll remember giving you a few days off."

"You'll confuse them?" Actually I'm the one confused right now.

"Oh dear Merlin, why me? A spell. It's a spell. Confundus."

"Oh! You won't hurt them, will you? Because I'd rather lose my job than-"

"Don't go all Gryffindor on me. Of course I won't harm them."

"Well, excuse me, but you're rather intimidating, you know. And what's a Gryffindor anyway?"

Severus releases an exasperated sigh and I wonder if I could somehow make him lose his cool and how much time it would take. I keep that entertaining idea for later, since I've got more pressing matters right now.

"Where are my trousers? I have to go to the loo."

Severus stands up and hands me the worn-out black trousers with a smirk. Then he turns around and I put them on as quickly as possible.

Before I leave the room to go to the bathroom at the end of the hallway, I turn around to look at the dark haired man.

"Was Merlin really a wizard, then?"

I get out before he can answer anything and I allow myself to chuckle a little. Maybe I could ask him why he's wearing an outfit that makes him look like an outdated catholic priest next.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K. Rowling, obviously, but thanks for asking.

**Warnings:** Probably some violence.

**AN:** New chapter! Nothing particular for this one - though, to answer one review, yes, it will be a Severus/OC romance ^^. Enjoy, and please R&R!

"What do you mean they were there first?" I mumble with my mouth full of scrambled eggs. I wash it down with burning black coffee and look expectantly at Harry.

"Well, apparently your flat had been visited. Someone is probably keeping a watch on it too. Hermione was there with us, she took some clothes and personal items for you. I hope it's okay."

"I have to stay here? You're joking, right?"

"Erm… actually…"

Harry cocks his head to the side and seems to think about what he wants to say. The kitchen is a bit dark but I can see his face well enough. He, Ron and Hermione are just back from their trip to my flat. Ron is holding a travel bag – hopefully Hermione is as smart as she looks and she knew what to take. Severus sits in front of me, sipping his own cup of coffee silently. It seems that I'm lucky he's here, since he's the only one to drink coffee.

"Look… I know it's not easy for you… But we feel it would be too dangerous for you to go back now. You'll be safe here until we're sure there's no risk anymore."

"And what the hell am I supposed to do locked in that house? Redecorating?"

"Well, now that you mention it… It's mine, you know. My godfather left it to me. It's rather gloomy, and none of us ever had the time to do something about it. So, if you're willing, you're more than welcome to change anything you'd like. Severus could help you with the magic part, of course."

Severus looks like he actually would rather hang himself with his own robes. I smirk. I'm about to answer when someone beats me to it.

"Harry! You can't seriously think about letting her wandering freely in the house and doing Merlin only knows why!"

Ah. Ginny. I've been wondering when she would explode. Guess the time has come.

"Ginny, don't be ridiculous." Hermione rolls her eyes and looks exasperated. Harry frowns at the auburn hair before shaking his head, looking much more disappointed than angry – and that's far worse. Ginny seems to know it too, because her pretty face falls. But instead of taking the clue and deciding to shut up, she turns to me with a death glare. I fight the urge to snort. I'm far too old to be impressed by a teenager girl with a misplaced jealousy. Actually I feel a bit sorry for her, if anything.

"What are you doing here? They may trust you, but I don't! And I won't let you alone in our house!"

Severus clears his throat, setting his mug down.

"Actually, Miss Weasley, Emma will be under my watch."

"Well, I don't trust you either!"

That was apparently the wrong thing to say. Hermione gasps, Ron becomes a quite ugly shade of red, and Harry's face is frighteningly blank. I can see why this very young man is a hero. Power and strength are practically exuding of him, and he seems to shake with repressed anger. Severus doesn't seem disturb. He doesn't even look at Ginny. He's watching me instead, his black eyes searching for something on my face. I look at Harry again, who has taken a step forward and now stands before Ginny.

"Ginny, I won't have anyone saying anything like that to Severus. I already made very clear how much I trust him and how much we all are indebted to him. Draco and I especially owe our very lives to him. So I will tell you this once more, Ginny. Either you respect Severus and live in my house following my rules, or you just leave."

Shit, that's a vote of confidence. Ginny has paled, and after a few seconds, she turns on her heels and leaves the kitchen. Ron looks at Hermione with pleading eyes, but his girlfriend shakes her curly haired head.

"No, Ron. No way. If you want to comfort her, go ahead. But I'm tired of it, and to be honest, I'm tired of her. She's behaving childishly and she's downright rude to Draco and to Severus. We've been patient enough, but now she just has to grow up, Ron. I think Harry is right."

"I know, Mione, I know." Ron sighs tiredly. "You all know what the real reason behind her behavior. Not that it's an excuse, mind you, but…"

"Ron, I swear I didn't lead her on. I told her right after the final battle that I didn't want a relationship with her anymore, and I told her why. There's nothing more I could have done."

"I know, mate, I don't blame you."

Draco has appeared at some point of Harry's speech, silently moving in the shadows of the dark room. He's standing behind Severus now, his face not showing any emotion, but his hand is resting lightly on the dark haired man's shoulder. The two of them share a quick look and I feel they understand each other very well, probably knowing enough about the other to know their respective feelings without speaking. The blonde steps back then. Ron, Hermione and Harry are silent too, the three of them looking worried. I should probably say something and let them discuss their problems.

"Okay, if I sum up, I'm stuck here, Hermione brought me clothes, and I'm allowed to redecorate the house with the help of the not-so-charming prince here. I think I'll go take a shower and put clean clothes on while you discuss your family issues together, then."

Hopefully Severus won't kill me and hide my body somewhere in that damn house. I swear they could make a horror movie in there without any accessories.

HP-HP-HP-HP

The benefits of a hot shower and mango scented soap are really underrated. I'm feeling a lot better when I go back to the room I've been given clad in a clean pair of jeans and a short sleeved black tee-shirt. Hermione is definitely a smart girl. She's picked my favorites clothes as well as my other personal items in my bathroom. She even thought about my phone and address book, should I want to contact someone.

I'm barefoot on the rug, but I don't manage to surprise Severus, who's already waiting for me in the bedroom. He raises his head as soon as the door silently opens. He nods a bit stiffly, and I busy myself with checking the travel bag.

"So, where do you think we should start with that redecorating business?"

"I actually do not plan to have any- "

Severus stops abruptly and I look up. He's frozen, his hand raised mid-air, and his eyes riveted to my right arm. There's an expression of near-panic and of disgust on his face that I don't understand.

"Severus? You okay?"

"What's this on your arm?"

"Erm, sorry, what? Oh! You mean my tattoos?"

He stands up and walk to the side of the bed, where I'm sitting on the floor, checking the bag. It's almost like he's in a trance.

"Tattoos? Who did this to you? Why did you let yourself be marked this way?"

"What? What the hell are you talking about? I've got these made by an artist in East London. Why? Are you tattoo-phobic or something?"

His hands close around my arms, and he makes me stand up. To be perfectly honest I'm beginning to feel a bit frightened. His black eyes are wild and there are lines on his face that I'm sure weren't there a few minutes ago. And his long fingers are clenched so tightly on my arms that they will certainly leave marks.

"Severus… You're hurting me." My voice is barely a whisper, but it seems to be enough. He lets go of me abruptly, like he's just been burnt.

"Severus? Everything alright? I heard you from downstairs and I-"

Draco is suddenly there, and he's looking at us. His eyes travel from me to Severus, and he seems to understand something.

"Severus, it's nothing like that. You know how it is for Muggles. Just ink and patterns and skin. Breathe, Severus."

The calm young man makes Severus sit down, and keep on whispering quietly to him. I don't know what to do. It seems private, somehow, but at the same time, I'm the one who apparently caused Severus' distress, even if I don't even know how.

The dark eyes are on me again, and I'm not able to look away. I hope he won't to that reading mind thing again, but I don't lower my eyes. There's a strange vulnerability in the black orbs, and probably enough pain to kill anyone else. I wonder what or who caused this pain. I hope someone will tell me, because I'd like to understand this man better. My brains keep on shouting me that it's a very bad idea, but my heart whispers it feels right. And I've always followed my heart.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K. Rowling, obviously, but thanks for asking.

**Warnings:** Probably some violence.

**AN:** And here comes the fifth chapter! One of the readers asked about Emma's tattoos. Of course she will explain their meaning, and I'll describe them... In fact... just in this chapter ^^ ! So, enjoy, and please review, it really makes me happy!

"That's why we're a bit, uh, sensitive about tattoos." Draco finishes with an apologetic half-smile.

Well, I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to answer to that. I think I should explain why I've had those tattoos made.

"I see. Well, if I understood what you said correctly, those… Dark Marks were meant to control you. To bound you to that evil wizard with the ridiculous name. For my tattoos… it's quite the contrary. They mean I'm free, and alive. The dragon, here" I say while pointing my upper arm, where a black and green dragon is tattooed, its tail on my shoulder blade and its head nearly on my elbow "was drawn just after my fiancé left me."

I can do that. I can explain and let those two men know about one of the worst part of my life. Black and grey eyes are looking at me. I take a deep breath and go on.

"I chose a dragon because it's strong. It can fly and it has fire. I wanted a reminder that I still was alive. That I would survive that, somehow, that I still had fire in me. I'm aware dragons do not exist, mind you, but… you see what I mean."

"Actually, they do."

"What? Are you telling me… Wait, don't say anything just now. I think it would be better to wait until tomorrow to speak about dragons."

"Okay" Draco says with a chuckle. "I like the dragon, though." He adds softly.

"I bet you do, Draco. Well anyway, after a few months, I asked the artist to tattoo this." I show them the words on my inner wrists. "It's a quote from the American author Kurt Vonnegut."

I look up and lock my gaze with Severus', because I would like him to understand exactly what those words mean to me.

"It reads '_Be soft._ _Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness._' These are the words that kept me going on. I still read them out loud from time to time, when I feel depressed or angry at something."

Severus seems completely frozen. I wonder if he's even breathing. Then he begins to laugh, a dark and deep sound that is not at all amused. Draco frowns and shakes his head at the dark haired man.

"Being soft is for losers. People like me can't afford to be soft. You probably shouldn't either, if what I saw from your memories is any clue."

I hear my started intake of breath and I see Draco's hand suddenly grip at Severus' forearm.

"That's a low blow, Severus." I say as gently as I can. "And you may see it this way, but I don't define myself as a loser. I'm a human being. I'm flawed and I make mistakes and I get hurt. And it's okay, all of it. It's life. It doesn't mean I'm weak. It doesn't mean I'm worthless. Quite the contrary, actually, because I've survived every blow, every mistake, every heartache so far. And I will again, and I won't let anything make me a hard or bitter person."

Draco looks at Severus with a raised eyebrow – and what is it with that expression anyway? – but the dark haired man just keep on looking at me with a blank face, his mouth tightly shut and his eyes like empty holes.

"I think I'll have another cup of coffee, if you don't mind."

I stride out of the room, still barefoot and with my hair dripping wet. I wonder if there is a way for me to escape unnoticed, but I think it unlikely. They probably have some kind of magical alarms or something.

It's then that I remember what Draco said about the dragons. Fucking hell. A cup of coffee will probably not be enough.

HP-HP-HP-HP

As it is, I can't find any coffee machine in the depressing kitchen and I nearly start to death when an ugly little shriveled creature suddenly appears next to me and looks at me with enormous eyes. I'm still having a debate with myself about the possibility of that, um, well, thing letting me leave the kitchen unharmed when Harry enters the room.

"Kreacher, you're frightening our guest. Go find Draco and ask for something to do. Now, Kreacher."

I watch with my mouth agape as the curious thing called Kreacher leaves the room and Harry laughs. I frown at him and he bits his lip, apparently still very amused.

"Sorry, Emma… It's just… you should have seen your face. It's my fault, though. I should have warned you about him. He's a house-elf. Harmless, for the most part. Well, I think, at least. He's behaving a lot better since Draco lives here, probably because he's a Black and house-elves essentially obey to family members of their house."

"What you said doesn't make any sense to me. And where's your bloody coffee machine?"

"Oh! I don't have any. Severus' makes his coffee with a spell. You should ask him."

"Just brilliant. Well, sit down and explain that elf thing, now that you're here."

I let myself fall on the bench in front of the kitchen table and sigh.

"Look… I know it's a lot to take in."

"A lot to take in? I've just had the weirdest conversation of my life with Draco and Severus about mad wizards and tattoos and fucking dragons!"

Harry winces a bit.

"Shit. I'm sorry. I saw your wrist yesterday, I didn't think it would be a problem. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. I'm fine. Well, the part where Severus nearly had a seizure was a bit scary. Anyway Draco was there and he will tell you everything anyway." I nearly smirk when Harry's cheeks become a cute shade of pink. "But honestly, dragons?"

"Yes. So, should I call Severus for the coffee?"

"Forget about the coffee. Tell me about the elves and the dragons instead."

Harry smiles widely, his green eyes sparkling and I brace myself for some more disturbing news. I feel a weird mix of curiosity, excitement and apprehension.

HP-HP-HP-HP

Everyone has gone on a secret mission just after lunch – and God knows they need some teaching in the cooking department, I swear I've never eaten anything worse than the tasteless stew and the overcooked potatoes they proudly served - and I'm spectacularly bored. Severus has not uttered a single word since this morning.

"Er… Severus? I wonder if we could maybe do something about the kitchen? I mean, um… Harry said I could try to redecorate a little, and well… since we're not doing anything right now…"

Severus doesn't say anything, he just nods stiffly.

"Okay. I've no idea what you're able to do with this magical powers of yours…" He doesn't seem to want to answer, the damn stubborn man. "Um… Are you able to change the color of the walls?"

Another nod.

"Great! Great. Um, I've been thinking of a soft cream color, because there's only this one small window and it's so dark…"

A shrug.

"Okay, so do you think you could…"

A nod.

And I thought he was being annoying yesterday. Obviously I was wrong.

Two hours later, the kitchen is barely recognizable and I'm ready to strangle Severus with my bare hands. I'm nevertheless quite proud of what we've done. The walls are now of a pale cream color, the tiles shine and the wooden furniture has been thoroughly cleaned and polished. And Severus still has not spoken a single fucking word. I'm beginning to feel really depressed at the thought of days and days of this silent treatment when he surprises me.

"I apologize for what I said earlier. It was rude and uncalled for."

His voice is hoarse and low, and his face is downcast, so that I can't see his eyes.

"Draco told you to apologize, didn't he?"

"Yes."

He raises his head and his face is as expressionless as it was earlier, but his eyes have lost that awful blank look. Puzzlement, pain, fear and incredulity are swirling madly in the dark orbs, and suddenly I cannot find it in myself to be angry at him.

"Apology accepted. Now could you stop being such a prat and beginning to really help me instead?"

He rolls his eyes and I find myself grinning smugly.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K. Rowling, obviously, but thanks for asking.

**Warnings:** Probably some violence.

**AN: **Here's the new one! I'll try to write a chapter every two days - I have Prince's Choice of Doom to finish, too. You know what they say... A chapter a day keeps the doctor away :D ! R&R please!

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"What?"

"The war. That Voldemort guy. What you did."

"Certainly not."

"I would be the logical choice, you know. I mean, I discovered that whole magical business only two days ago. I'm not prejudiced one way or another. I have no family loyalty and I didn't know anyone who was killed because of that man."

"I believe my answer was clear enough the first time, Emma."

I don't know how he's doing it, but he manages to spat my name like it's a very nasty kind of disease. Something like the bubonic plague. Or a disgusting sexually transmitted disease. Whatever.

Anyway, the point is, Severus is very good at pushing people away. We're currently trying to get rid of the Doxies in the living room – and those little creatures are vicious ones, that's for sure. Not to mention the product we're spraying haphazardly on them is giving me one hell of a headache. I thought it could be the right time to talk with my ever-sulking supervisor. I guess it's not. He turns around and leaves the room – smart move from his side, I can barely breathe in there.

"Okay, okay, don't get your boxers in a twist. So, speaking about boxers, what do we do to get Harry and Draco together?"

"Do I look anything like Cupidon?"

"Well, you could. You'd be really cute with nothing but white briefs and tiny wings."

Shit, I've gone too far. Severus' face is suddenly very pink, and he looks like he's about to explode, his shoulders shaking with the effort of restraining himself... Wait a minute.

"Are you trying not to laugh, Severus?"

He instantly sobers, looking at me with those black eyes of his, but I can see the light tug at the corners of his mouth.

"You don't fool me, you know. But, back to the point, what do we do about those two?"

"Nothing. They're both idiots."

"Well, that may be, but I think they deserve happiness. Don't you think so?" I ask softly.

"Not when they're not able to see what is just under their noses. At least Draco doesn't fool himself."

"Yes he does. It's true that he's aware of his own feelings, but he's blind to Harry's. And Harry, well... He seems insecure, somehow. I don't understand why, everybody seems to love him here – I mean, how could anyone not love him?"

Severus' gaze is piercing and I feel a bit ill-at-ease.

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm just surprised. You are quite good at reading people. Harry is an orphan. As you already know, his childhood was disturbed by Voldemort and his teenage years by the war. But there's more. As a child, his relatives were abusing him. His aunt and his uncle. I'm not sure how deep he's scarred, but..."

"Shit. Well, they deserve love and happiness even more, then. It's obvious how much they care about each other. Draco is apparently smitten and-"

"Draco is not smitten. He's in love. I know him very well. As for Harry... He probably wouldn't recognize love if it hit him in the face. And as I've said, they're both idiots and they can keep on making puppy eyes at each other for the rest of their lives for all I care." Severus rolls his eyes, but I can tell it's half-hearted. I smile.

"You're quite fond of the two of them, aren't you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"It's alright, Severus. They both love you dearly, you know."

Severus looks away, something like pain flashing for the tiniest moment on his face. I take the opportunity to study his features better. He has a crooked nose – it looks like it's been broken several times and never properly healed. His cheekbones are high and he has a strong jaw. His eyes and eyebrow are as black as his hair. The skin is a bit pale but looks healthy enough, with a few wrinkles around the mouth and eyes. He's not a handsome man, but there something strong and fierce about him that is attractive, especially in the too-rare moments when he's smiling or chuckling. I fight the urge to reach out to him – it would probably only make things worse. He's obviously disturbed by the thought of people loving him, even in a platonic way. He's a bit like an uncle for Harry and Draco, I guess.

"Well, anyway, I'll do something about it. Wait, do you think Harry could be disturbed because Draco is a man? I know Ginny had been his girlfriend for a little while, so..."

"I hardly think that this is the problem Emma. Now stop talking nonsense. I'll finish with the doxies. Make us some tea and think about what disgustingly cheerful color you will make me put on the living-room walls."

I think his eyes are somewhat softer, but it could be only wishful thinking on my part.

HP-HP-HP-HP

"It's incredible what you two have managed to do in just a few hours. I'm really impressed!" Harry and Hermione are looking at the kitchen with wide eyes and broad smiles. I try not to look too smug. I think I'm failing, because Severus raises an eyebrow and then shakes his head.

"I'm glad you like it. Severus did most of the work, of course. I'm begining to feel quite jealous of all this magic thing, you know. Comes quite in handy. By the way, would you mind terribly if I cooked tonight?"

"Oh God bless you." Hermione looks so relieved I almost laugh out loud.

"Harry cooks breakfast, and it's quite good. But then we take turns for the other meals, and we're all as bad... We'd kill for a decent meal, actually."

"I used to cook breakfast for my relatives. But I'm no good with anything else than toasts and eggs and bacon." Harry chuckles, and there's a flash of silver-blond hair in the hallway. He's never far away. I smile and try to focus on what I could make them all for dinner.

"Tell me, will you all eat here tonight?"

"Yes, I think so. The trail we'd been following turned out to be a dead-end. Ron's father, Arthur, who's the Minister right hand now, has been trying to get us some new information for weeks. I guess we'll have to wait now."

"Okay, so dinner for seven it is."

"Nine. Ron's parents should come eat with us for once. They've been feeding us enough times."

"Okay, then, I'll make it ten so you can have a last-minute guest if you want to."

HP-HP-HP-HP

In the end Ron's parents – Molly and Arthur – came with one of Ron's brothers and his girlfriend – George and Katie. They're all nice and friendly, and George is rather funny. He tells me quickly about his twin brother's death when he helps me bringing the tiramisu for the dessert, and I just touch his forearm, because, really, what could I say? It seems to be enough though, and George smiles and begins to tell me about this wizarding school and all the little stories about all of them. I like him.

"Congratulations, Emma, it was delicious." Molly says with a smile. "I'm always worried that they'll poison themselves one day, you know. I really hope you'll stay a while."

"Thank you, Molly."

Ginny is scowling at me from the other side of the table – she's managed to sit next to Harry, who's trying very hard to remain friendly with her while stealing glances at Draco every two minutes. Severus sits next to me and he didn't say anything during the whole meal. He seems even more subdued than usual, barely raising his head from his plate. I'm wondering if it would be wise to speak to him or to touch his hand when Draco's soft voice distracts me.

"Molly, did you see the kitchen? Emma and Severus did an amazing job."

"That's true. Come on, we'll show you! They've begun to work here too, I can't wait to see what they'll make of the other rooms!" Harry excitedly takes Molly's arm and nearly runs to the kitchen, while Draco politely waits for Arthur. The two men are joined by Ron and make their way to the kitchen, quietly discussing.

"You won't take him away from me, you know."

I nearly choke on my tiramisu – which would be a pity, because I can honestly say it is very good. Ginny is glaring at me and she's very red in the face. My first thought is that she shouldn't get angry like this, because red clashes quite badly with her hair.

"Excuse me, what?"

"Harry. He's mine. You won't seduce him with your cooking or this ridiculous redecorating task."

George and Katie are gaping at her. Hermione is clutching her spoon so tightly that her knuckles are white, and she's stubbornly looking at her plate. I guess she's trying to stay calm. Severus looks... amused? He has crossed his arms on his chest, and seems to wait for the show to go on. Well, I can only oblige.

"How fucking stupid are you?"

"Don't you dare insulting me, I'll tell-"

"Oh, just shut up. I'm twenty-eight, not thirteen. Besides, you attacked me, not the other way around. And just because I'm a nice person and well, I'd really like to eat my tiramisu, I'll explain. I am not interested in Harry, and he's most certainly not interested in me. He's not interested in you either, for that matter. Now grow up and try to put two and two together. It's not my problem if you do not realize it's over between the two of you, it's yours. Am I allowed to get back to my dessert now?"

Severus burst out laughing and I'm so suprised I actually jump on my chair. Katie chuckles quietly while Hermione looks like she's biting the inside of her cheeks to avoid doing so. And George frowns at his sister.

And then I spot them. They were probably on their way back from the kitchen, and they all stands frozen on the other side of the room. Molly and Arthur. Ron. Draco and Harry. Shit. I should have kept my thoughts for myself. I'm barely a guest here, what the fuck have I been thinking? My eyes meet Draco's, and he smiles gently. Something brushes the side of my thigh very lightly. Severus' knee. He hasn't moved at all, and he's looking at Ginny, but I'm fairly certain I did not dream the touch. It warms me a little.

Harry whispers something at Arthur, and the older man nods gravely.

"Ginny, I think it would be better for you to come home with Molly and I tonight. Now." Arthur comes forward and puts his hand on his daughter's shoulder, and they leave the room, and the last thing I see from them is Molly's sad face, and I want to slap myself.

"I'm sorry." It's not enough, but I don't know what else I could say.

"Don't be. I think it's high time we cease to treat her like a child if we expect her to behave like an adult." Ron's voice is low but sincere, and his blue eyes are not angry.

"Besides, you were right. It's over between us and I've told her so enough times. I don't understand why she can't see it. We're not good together anyway."

Draco's intense grey gaze doesn't leave Harry's face and Hermione suddenly looks at me with wide eyes. Ah. She gets it. I nod and she smiles.

Katie and George quickly leave after that, Katie winking at me with a smile and George waving exuberantly. The others speak about strategy and Death Eaters and Ministry for a while, before everyone stands up and bids good night.

This time I'm sure I'm not dreaming the hand resting on the small of my back, so lightly it's barely there, as Severus and I make our way to the bedroom.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K. Rowling, obviously, but thanks for asking.

**Warnings:** Probably some violence.

**AN:** Thanks for your reviews and support - it's quite an unusual story and I'm glad some of you like it :) ! As usual, enjoy, and review please!

I don't know what to do, and I'm nearly shaking with the raw need to fucking do something to stop that. It's dark in the room, but not dark enough for me not to see him. And of course, I'm not deaf, and the sounds only would break anyone's heart. Shit.

Severus is curled on his side in a fetal position. I've never seen an adult sleep like that, so tightly wrapped around himself that he seems far smaller than he is in reality. And the sounds he's making... God. Choked sobs and pained whimpers and quiet moans, as if he doesn't want anyone to hear him, even in his sleep. I stand up and kneel next to his bed. His eyes are tightly shut, but I can see the eyeballs moving quickly under his lids, and I know he's dreaming. Well, seems more like an awful nightmare.

Should I wake him up? I'm a bit ashamed to admit that I'm afraid to startle him. I know he could hurt me badly, he's much bigger and stronger than me, and he can do magic as well. Maybe I should try to find Draco or Harry and ask for their help. I'm almost decided to search for one of them when Severus releases a shaking breath, and there are tears suddenly running down his cheeks, and it's too much to bear. I know he would be mortified to be seen like that, he seems to be such a proud man. But I'll be gone soon and he won't see me again, so I guess it's alright if it's me. I slip in his bed quietly, my chest to his back, and I put my hand on his shoulder, careful to keep my touch as light as I can. He doesn't react, so I decide to be bolder, and I sneak an arm around his waist. I begin so whisper soft words against his neck, like "it's alright" and "I've got you" and "you're safe" again and again, until he finally begins to relax. After what seems like hours, his breathing is deep and regular again, and I think the nightmare is over. I don't dare moving just now, and after a few more minutes it begins harder and harder to stay awake. I feel warm and tired and I guess there's no harm if I shut my eyes just for a moment, and then I'll go back to my own bed.

HP-HP-HP-HP

Okay, so it seems that I was wrong.

I wake up feeling warm and rather good, and I'm stretching like a cat when someone clears their throat. And then I open my eyes. Severus' face is very close to mine, and he's glaring at me in a quite threatening manner. Not only I'm still in his bed, but apparently my sleeping self has somehow decided that it would be a good idea to cuddle, so that I'm literally draped over the man.

"Er... Good morning?"

"Kindly remove your person from me and explain what the hell you are doing in my bed."

"Not a morning person, then?" I smirk for barely a second before it becomes clear that it would be wiser to do as requested. I carefully disentangle my limbs from Severus and from the sheets, and sit on my heels. "You were having a nightmare. A bad one. I didn't know what to do, I didn't want to startle you, you're much stronger than me and God only knows what you're able to do with that wand you keep under your pillow. I'm sure even half asleep you could hex me into a toad or something like that. Is it possible, by the way? I've always wondered what it would feel like to be an animal but I- er, right. Well, anyway, I tried to comfort you and I spoke to you a little, and then you were calm again and I think I just fell asleep. I'm sorry."

Severus looks at me with a mix of curiosity, incomprehension and anger.

"Why didn't you just yell from your bed? It would have woken me up and it would have been safe enough."

"What?" I frown, trying to understand what he's saying.

"Anyway, I've forgotten to cast the Silencing Charms yesterday. I apologize for disrupting your sleep."

"Are you always sleeping with those Silencing Charms? But then nobody can come when you're having a nightmare. I mean... What usually happens when you're having one?"

"I usually wake up on my own."

"Alone."

"Yes. I don't need anybody. I'm not a child, Emma."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Do Harry and Draco know about your nightmares?"

He doesn't answer, but I know.

"You'd better not put those Silencing things while I'm here."

"Excuse me?"

"I won't sleep anyway if I know you'll maybe have a nightmare and fight it alone. So you'll do me a favor."

I know I'm smirking, but his gaping mouth is a funny sight.

"Besides, wasn't it better to calm down this way than to wake up on your own? And I'm feeling quite well rested actually, you make a very good pillow. I think I'll take a shower now."

I flee before he can answer. I hope the shouted curse words coming from our room will not wake the whole house, though.

HP-HP-HP-HP

After two more days of redecorating – and two peaceful nights which I hope were really nightmare-free and not Silencing Charms-induced – we're finally working on "our" bedroom.

"Severus... Why are you still sleeping here? I mean... We both know I'm harmless."

He's facing the window, but I can see his shoulders stiffen.

"You'll probably wander on your own and play with dangerous artifacts if you were left alone."

I snort, because really, what sort of answer is that? And how old does he think I am? Granted, I thought several times about exploring the house a bit on my own, but still. I wouldn't touch anything dangerous. I think. Except if I don't know it's dangerous. Shit. It seems his answer actually makes sense, after all.

When I look at him again, he's facing me, an annoying smirk on his face, looking way too smug for my taste.

"You're looking younger."

"What?" The smirk disappears and he seems lost.

"You're looking younger, when you're not scowling or sneering or having that unnerving blank expression of yours. How old are you anyway?"

"That is none of your business. And it is not something very... ladylike to ask."

"Ladylike? No idea what that means." I grin and he rolls his eyes. "So, how old? It's only fair, after all you already know my age."

"Thirty-nine. I'll be forty in a few weeks."

"And the others? They all seem quite young."

"All twenty. Except for the Weasley girl. She'll be nineteen soon."

"And maybe she'll be wiser."

"I hope not. Maybe we'll have some more entertaining dinners with the two of you."

"I don't understand what's wrong with the girl. As if I were the one standing between her and Harry. Honestly."

"There's no way she could think that there's something between Harry and Draco. In her eyes, you're a much more logical candidate. You have a lot in common with him."

"You mean pretty eyes and lovely short hair?"

"No. I mean stupid bravery and reckless behavior. Not to mention you're both way too trusting and incapable to lie convincingly."

"I think we should have pale green in this room."

He looks surprised, but he nods silently.

"Do you prefer vanilla or chocolate?"

"What?" He looks lost again, and kind of... cute. And it's so much fun to drive him crazy.

"For your birthday cake. I think we should organize a big party, with lots of confetti and a big cake with forty candles."

He growls and there are red sparkles at the tip of his wand, which he's clutching so tightly I'm afraid he'll break it. But when I look in his eyes again, it's not anger or annoyance I see first – even if there are there, too. There's a strange warmth, and astonishment. I smile and after a few seconds, he smiles back.

HP-HP-HP-HP

They are all eating, apparently enjoying the pasta alla carbonara. I'm not really hungry, and I can't help but wanting to ask. I'm playing with my fork, wondering whether I should ask Harry, or maybe Hermione about it, when Severus chooses for me.

"Spill it, Emma."

"Excuse me?"

"Whatever it is you want to know, ask. And yes, you are that transparent. Much like Harry, in fact."

Harry flushes and the others chuckle. I hesitate, and Harry nods in encouragement.

"What will happen when it's safe for me to go home? I mean... Nobody has ever talked about your world, right? No Muggle, I mean. So... Do you have a mean to make them keep it for themselves? Will I be allowed to see you again?"

Severus' face is carefully blank again. Hermione seems sorry for me, and the others... are just apparently ill-at-ease. Hermione takes pity on me and answers.

"We'll have to make you forget. There is a spell that allows us to make you forget only some of your memories. Our laws are very strict, Emma, because we have to keep our world a secret."

I look at Severus, and there is something I can't place in his dark eyes.

"You'll do it?"

He nods without a word.

"No. No, he won't."

Harry seems agitated, he stands up suddenly and there are two red patches on his cheeks.

"I'm the bloody Savior. I've never asked for anything, no one here has. I think it's time we ask for a favor. Emma saved my life, and... she's one of us. I've not that many people in my life. I won't lose someone else."

"Harry... You know we'll have to. There's no way Kingsley can allow us to-"

"I don't care. I owe her a life-debt, and I won't repay her by letting her be Obliviated and just sent back to her life like nothing happened!"

Draco comes next to Harry and he whispers something to him. Harry shakes his head stubbornly, and I know I have to say something.

"I understand. It's okay. Besides, I won't remember a thing, now will I?"

I hope I don't sound as bitter as I feel. I don't want Harry or anyone here to get in trouble on my behalf. I wish there was another way, because every memory is precious, every person you meet is precious, and I don't like the idea to have that taken from me. But I understand why it has to be done. I smile at Harry and Draco and the blonde man smiles softly in return, absently running his hand along Harry's spine. At least there is something I can do for them before I go. I just need to figure out how.

"So, I need all of you to tell me what color you want in your rooms, since Severus and I will begin with that tomorrow. Draco?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K. Rowling, obviously, but thanks for asking.

**Warnings:** Probably some violence.

**AN: **I hope you'll enjoy this one! Has been both fun and hard to write. Reviews are my drug. Please?

"No."

"But that's what Harry wants!"

"I couldn't care less. I will not purchase such a thing."

"Come on, Severus, it's only a shower curtain! You're acting as if it was the end of the world!"

"I will not buy this thing!"

Well, it is true that said shower curtain is a bit on the flashy side. Perhaps more than a bit. Harry sleeps in the master bedroom, which has its own bathroom.

"Say it's for your girlfriend!"

Severus raises an eyebrow.

"Okay, okay. Well, I don't know, but Harry wants that red and yellow thing with goldfishes, and he sure as hell will get it. He was like a child before Christmas when he chose the decoration of his bedroom, and I'm sure we both know why. He deserves to have what he's asked for, Severus. Believe me, if I could go outside, I'd pick the accessories myself. God knows I'll do anything to go outside for a while."

Severus is looking torn. I know he will buy the damn thing, because even he would never admit it, even to himself, he's not able to deny Harry and Draco anything that could make them happy. I decide to add the puppy eyes effect in the balance for good measure.

"Please, Severus."

"You evil little-"

I will never know exactly what kind of evil little thing I am, because Harry barges in, his face flushed and his hair even messier than usual.

"We've found them, Severus! We've found them. You need to come now, because we can't get in and I can't ask Draco and of course I know it's a lot to ask but-"

"Slow down, Harry."

Severus' tone is cold and unimpressed, but I can see the light in his eyes and the way his fingers smooth the front of his robes. I wonder what he would look like in normal clothes. I could maybe somehow hide his robes and so he would have to-

"Dolohov and the rest of them. We found them. A muggle house in Scotland. But… We can't get in without your help."

"Wards?"

"Yes. We tried the usual spells but with no success. But we've seen one of them get in. He's put his dark mark against a black skull on the door."

"Yes, that would make sense."

"I'm sorry, Severus, but I can't ask it from Draco, you know how it was last time."

"I know."

"Emma, Draco will stay with you today. We'll be back this evening, the Aurors are on their way too, it should be easy enough."

I don't know why, but that doesn't quite reassure me. In the movies, it's always when it seems easy enough that everything goes wrong.

"Okay. Try to bring Severus back in one piece. I'm not quite finished with your room."

At least I get to spend some hours with Draco. Maybe I can try to put some sense in him. I'm afraid there's not much I can do where Harry is concerned.

HP-HP-HP-HP

Working with Draco is quite relaxing. He's quiet and friendly, helpful and strangely polite. He seems a bit distracted, though.

"He'll be fine. He's a hero, after all."

"Excuse me?"

He's good. His tone is perfectly neutral and he keeps on moving Harry's bed with his wand from one side of the room to the other like what I've said has not hit the mark. Which I know it has, if only because of the faint blush coloring his pale cheeks.

"I may not be a witch, but I'm not blind either. I work in a coffee shop, did you know? I see dozens, hell, hundreds of people each week. I see the way they care for the ones they love. The way they touch them. The way they look at them."

Draco is as still as a statue. I suddenly hope it hasn't been a mistake. Well, it's too late anyway.

"What are you waiting for?"

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Really? Look, I just want you two to have a chance at happiness. I'll be gone soon and I'd like to do something for Harry. He's… I never met anyone like him before. Severus told me about his childhood. He deserves to be loved, doesn't he?"

He's watching me closely, as if he's trying to decide if I'm a threat or not. I can't read him as well as I'd like to, and I decide to go on.

"And I think you do, too. Are you really convinced that you're the only one to feel this way?"

"He doesn't see me like that. And I won't risk his friendship for a foolish feeling. You don't understand what it meant to me to have his trust, his friendship when I arrived here. At first, he was the only one to talk to me. Well, and Severus, of course. I can't lose him."

Draco's usually soft voice is a bit hoarse, and I know how much it costs him to admit all those things to me.

"You won't. I'm sure you won't, and I wouldn't have said anything if I wasn't sure. Don't you realize how he's looking at you? How he's always reaching out for you? You're the first person he's looking at when he needs advice or support. He always knows where you are and what you're doing. And for fuck's sake, he's barely able to take his eyes off you!"

He shakes his head, but I feel he's beginning to think about it.

"Look, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable or play the annoying meddlesome woman" he raises an eyebrow in a perfect imitation of Severus and I roll my eyes "okay, maybe I'm a bit of a meddlesome woman, but my point is, you're both obviously in love with each other. So please don't waste it. Don't let it die because you're afraid. Don't let anyone steal him from you or you from him because neither wants to be the first to dare to move."

"Are you sure? Really sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I wouldn't say anything if I wasn't."

Draco closes his eyes for a second and I take the opportunity to come nearer. He opens his eyes as I touch his forearm.

"This thing you have here. This tattoo. It's like a scar. Doesn't make you evil. Doesn't make you less of a man. Doesn't make you less worthy of being loved. And those are not my words, even if I couldn't more agree. Those are Harry's. Telling Hermione yesterday how he wished you were more at ease and happy here."

Draco looks surprised, and I struggle to keep my smile kind and not mocking, because it would not do to make him doubt me or feel tricked right now.

"And before you ask, yes, I might have spied on their conversation. And I might be a meddlesome woman, after all."

There. If he doesn't get a move on it, I'll lock them both in Harry's bedroom. I'm sure Hermione would be willing to help me with a locking charm.

HP-HP-HP-HP

There are muffled voices and shouts downstairs. Draco scrambles to his feet and I follow him.

"Set him down, here, on the couch. Shit it's bad. Hermione, the potion, now!"

I don't think I can move. I stay here, just frozen. Ron and Harry are holding Severus down on the couch as he's arching his back, his mouth open in a silent scream of pain. There's blood on his hands, on his face, on his open robes and bare chest.

Draco helps Hermione as she pours something down his throat. Harry's looking horrified, unshed tears making his eyes shine unnaturally, and as Severus calms down, Ron takes the dark haired man in a tight hug, whispering something I don't understand in his ear. Then the red head leads his friend to Draco, who puts his arm around Harry's waist.

Ron holds Hermione and we all watch as Poppy waves her wand above Severus, not even asking what's happened. I feel useless and I feel lonely, standing there in the middle of the living room, barely believing what I'm seeing. Before I know it, I'm kneeling next to Poppy, and I take Severus' cold hand in mine.

"Will he be alright?" I hear myself whisper.

Poppy doesn't say anything, but suddenly there's a warm hand on my shoulder, and Draco's soft voice answers my question.

"He's survived much worse. He's a fighter, and probably the strongest man I know. He'll be fine."

I turn slightly to see him. Harry's still desperately clutching at Draco's shirt, his face buried in the blonde's shoulder. Draco tightens his hold on the man he loves. I'm not sure why, but I really want to cry right now.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K. Rowling, obviously, but thanks for asking.

**Warnings:** Probably some violence.

**AN: This chapter is an interlude in Severus' POV! **I just... felt like it today ^^. Enjoy, and please, please, review!

_Fuck, but it hurts. Everything hurts so badly and I'm cold. Except for my right hand, which feels warm and kind of good. As if someone was holding it._

_Wait. Someone is holding my hand. I can't move, I can't open my eyes, and I fucking would like to know who the hell is holding my hand. Poppy wouldn't dare – she tried once and I think she still remembers it. I'm sure it's Harry. The impudent brat would probably be the only one here to be foolish enough to attempt something like that. There are suddenly whispers and I struggle to focus on the words._

_"You should have some sleep. I'll wake you up if there's anything."_

_"Are you sure?"_

_"Yes. He'll need you and your magic. I'll stay here while you're resting. Don't worry."_

_"I'm not worried. Besides, the worst is behind us. I think he'll make it. Well, good night, then. If there's any change, please come to me."_

_"I will. Good night, Poppy."_

_A door is shut and silence surrounds me again. It's not Harry who's holding my hand. The voice is definitely feminine, soft and tired. Emma. It's Emma. The nerve of that woman. And why the hell is Poppy allowing her to watch over me? I don't need anyone, the standard alarm spells are enough._

_"You'd better not die, you know. Draco had to convince Harry to take a potion to sleep. He'll never forgive himself if you don't survive. They both feel responsible for what happened – Harry for asking you to come, and Draco for not taking your place."_

_My hand is released, but then there are fingertips on my face, on my throat and neck, caressing me so lightly and softly, and I can't remember being touched like that. And even if Emma is touching the scar Nagini left me, even if it's madness to allow that, I realize I don't care, and Merlin help me, but I don't want it to end._

_"You know, sometimes I still think it's some kind of weird dream, and I will wake up in my tiny flat with a massive hangover and just think "fuck, it wasn't real". I don't know what would be worse, really. To remember it if it's only been a dream, or to lose every memory if it's real. I wonder how you got that scar. Seems pretty bad, it must have hurt like hell."_

_Fingertips ghost over my throat and I want to shiver – not in delight, of course, in abject horror at the thought of someone touching me without my permission – but my body doesn't want to react like I want it to._

_"The good thing about your injury is that Draco and Harry are currently curled around each other in Harry's bed. Hopefully Harry won't freak out too much tomorrow morning, but I think Draco has efficient means to distract him if it comes to that. Good thing we've finished his room today. Though I'm not sure Harry will notice the decoration with the gorgeous blonde in his bed." Emma says with a warm chuckle._

_Now that's a mental image I could have done without. It must be some kind of punition for my sins. The hand brushes my hair away from my face, and then it takes my hand again. The touch is warm and sure, strangely reassuring and at the same time terrifying. Because that's the kind of touch I don't deserve. How can she not see she should stay away from me? I feel exhausted and I can't help but falling asleep again, the pain in my body curiously soothed by the knowledge that I'm not alone. This time, someone is watching over me._

_HP-HP-HP-HP_

_I wake up a bit later. It's still dark in the room, so I guess I've only slept a few more hours. I can move a bit. My upper body, at least. I try to open my eyes, and I nearly forget how to breathe. She's still there. Emma is fucking asleep in her chair, with her head resting in her crossed arms on my bed. She'll definitely feel that position tomorrow, with her back bent that way. I want to snort at her foolishness but I'm not able to._

_She's a beautiful woman. Not in a classic way, with her short dark brown hair and her tattoos and her disarming bluntness. She's an open book, like Harry is most of the time, but with that perception of reality and of others Harry sometimes lacks. And that's just it – she's true, she's real in a way very few people are. I've been wearing a mask most of my life, but she's behaving like nobody can harm her. Like she doesn't care if everybody knows how she feels, what she thinks. Like she really believes the words tattooed on her skin._

_She's sleeping peacefully, her mouth slightly open – and she's still holding my hand. Salazar. Her hand is so small in mine. She's a short woman, maybe 5'3 feet. Not delicate in any way, though. She's slightly built but she must train in a way or another, and her body seems as strong as her mind. She sighs in her sleep and I wonder how the man I saw in her memories could ever hurt her that way._

_I really should shake her awake and ask her to leave and shout at her. I really should._

_I can't. I can't, and it scares me in a way nothing never has before_.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K. Rowling, obviously, but thanks for asking.

**Warnings:** Probably some violence.

**AN: **New chapter, back in Emma's POV! I'm glad you liked the previous one and hope you'll like this one too. It's dedicated to TheFightingAlchemist, probably my most faithful reviewer and one I love to read! That being said, please R&R!

"Good morning, sleepyhead."

He frowns and I want to cheer, I'm feeling so relieved right now.

"Did you just call me sleepyhead? I should have died, at least I would have been spared-"

"Yes, yes, shut up, Severus. Are you thirsty? Poppy said you'd be."

I hold the glass against his lips as I put my other hand behind his neck to help him drink. He glares at me but drinks all the same. His hair feels silky and soft against my fingers.

"How do you feel?" I ask seriously, because he's frighteningly pale and his bandaged chest impress me a little.

"Just peachy. Would you please let me rest now?"

"Well excuse me if I get worried when you're looking like shit and you were nearly dead yesterday and there wasn't anything I could do and I just... Fuck!"

Shit, that came out wrong. Why the hell am I so upset?

"Look, I'm sorry. I'll leave you now, but I have to tell Harry and Draco you're awake, they've been worried sick. Just... be kind to them, will you?"

I stand up and I've nearly reached the door when he calls me.

"Emma?"

"Yes?"

"Why did you stay?"

He's looking at me curiously, as if he really doesn't understand. Draco has told me he's been injured loads of times over the years. Is he used to wake up alone? Why didn't anyone stay with him?

"Because I couldn't bear the thought of you waking up alone and in pain. Because I could at least do that, even if I wasn't able to help with your injuries. Because the others needed to sleep and to recover." I turn around to escape his black gaze and I add "Because I wanted to" before leaving the room, feeling strangely depressed.

I knock several times on Harry's bedroom door, call his and Draco's names and finaly I open the door slowly.

Well, shit.

No wonder they didn't hear me. They're lying together on the bed, both naked from the waist up, so wrapped around each other that I can't tell which limb belongs to whom, and they're kissing like there is no tomorrow. I must have made a strangled noise at some point because two pairs of shocked eyes are suddenly on me.

"Er... sorry. Well, I'm not really sorry I've seen that because it's ridiculously hot, you know, but I'm sorry to interrupt." I actually need a second to remember why the hell I've had the brilliant idea to come here in the first place. "Oh! And Severus is awake. And he's his grumpy and snappish self, too, which probably means he'll be fine. And now I'll just go and take a cold shower." I smirk at their matching blush and get out quietly.

As I'm stripping in the bathroom, I wonder if I could make Ginny somehow catch Harry and Draco eagerly trying to suck out each other's souls through their mouths. Or any other part of their anatomy, for that matter. But that would be mean. It's tempting, though.

Fuck, I really need a cold shower.

HP-HP-HP-HP

"What happened?"

Harry looks up sharply, his hand tightening on his spoon. Draco sighs and bits his lip, and I wonder what exactly Harry has told him from yesterday's events.

"The door. There was a kind of trigger on it. When Severus put his Dark Mark on it, at first we thought it had worked, because the door was suddenly slightly ajar. But… It must have set off an alarm or something, and Dolohov casted a cutting spell on Severus so quickly that none of us could react in time. We managed to keep them busy while dragging Severus away, and then the Aurors were there. I think they got them all. It was..."

Harry shivers and I know he's probably not telling me the whole story. I just nod. Draco is stiff and pale, and Harry instinctively reaches out for him, embracing him.

"It wasn't your fault. I asked Severus to come because I didn't want you to show your Mark or to use it in any way. I'm so sorry Severus has been hurt."

Draco stays very still, and I know there's something bothering him. I refill our mugs and think carefully about what I'm about to say.

"I think that what Harry is trying to say is that of course he trusts you, but most of all he wanted to protect you. He was afraid you could be hurt physically or emotionally. This is why he asked Severus to come, and not you."

Harry nods fervently and Draco smiles at the display. Honestly, boys.

"Well, I think we should throw a little party for Severus tonight. Poppy says he'll be fine enough for that, provided he won't drink too much, but somehow I think that won't be a problem. He'll be forty in a few weeks and since I won't be around anymore by then…"

They both smile softly.

"What do you need us to do?"

Great. It will be fun.

HP-HP-HP-HP

I might be a bit drunk. That Firewhiskey is good stuff, I have to admit. Burns like hell all the way down but it's worth it. I'm giggling helplessly with Hermione at Ron's none too subtle innuendo and I can see Severus rolling his eyes from the corner of my eye. He's comfortably settled in a big leather armchair, and even if he would probably deny it till his death, I know he's having a good time.

Dinner has been a quiet and slightly tense affair with Ginny and the elder Weasleys, but everyone has relaxed as soon as they're gone. Harry and Draco have disappeared somewhere a few minutes ago and even Ron seems to have understood what it means.

"Believe me, they're hot together." I blurt out between two sips.

"And how would you know?" Severus' voice is stern but I hear the amused tone beneath it. Well, I think I do.

"I might have surprised them this morning." I'm giggling again and Hermione follows, her cheeks an alarming shade of pink. "And all I can say is wow."

Severus snorts and shakes his head.

"I think it's time for all of you to go to bed. And no, thank you very much Weasley, but I will manage on my own."

Ron shrugs and takes Hermione's hand to climb the stairs clumsily, occasionally bumping in the walls, causing them to chuckle a bit more.

"Well, Severus, did you have fun?"

"Watching you five getting drunk and talking inanely has been very distracting, yes."

I grin as I stand up, and I boldly link my arm with his. I try not to lean too much on him as we make our way to our room, keeping in mind that he's the one injured and I'm just pleasantly tipsy.

"I'm impressed, Emma. You're holding your liquor well enough. At least you didn't make a fool of yourself like the other idiots did."

"'M not twenty anymore. Got more practice. Besides, you love those idiots, Severus."

I collapse on my bed with a relieved sigh, and I hear Severus' soft chuckle from his own bed. My mind feels very clear again, even with my treacherous body failing me.

"Severus?"

"Yes?"

"You have to do it. That spell to make me forget."

"What?"

"Harry will get into trouble if he tries to ask for a special treatment for me and I don't want to be cause of that, especially not with what's ahead of him now that he's with Draco – I doubt everyone will like it.. And I think we both know it'll be better that way. I do not belong here and none of you need me."

"Emma I-"

"No, just listen." I crawl to his bed, ignoring his scowl and my growing dizziness. "You'll cast the spell. I'll let a letter for Harry, explaining why it's better that way and that it's my choice, this way you won't be held responsible for it. And, before I go, you tell me your story."

"What?"

"You have to tell someone. It's destroying you, all these things you're keeping inside. I understand why you don't want to confide in any of them. But I'll be gone soon. You can let it all out, and you don't have to care about the consequences because there won't be any – I'll forget about it. And you'll feel better, you will maybe be able to go on with your life. You deserve it, don't you think? And Harry and Draco deserve to have someone like you in their lives, they'll soon need you and you have to be there for them."

Severus is looking at me with his mouth slightly open and I can see he has trouble processing what I've just said. He's so absorbed in his thoughts that he has not realized I've made my way under the covers and tucked my head in the crook of his neck, careful not to touch his injured chest.

"Think about it, will you? It's the best solution, really." I feel sleepy but at peace, and I hope he'll accept.

"D'you mind if I sleep here? 'M not sure I'm able to get back to my bed."

I don't know if he doesn't answer or if I fall asleep before he does, but I welcome the darkness slowly invading my mind all the same.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K. Rowling, obviously, but thanks for asking.

**Warnings:** Probably some violence.

**AN: **This one has been fun to write! Next one will be more difficult... In the meantime, please enjoy and review ^^

Okay, I take back everything I've said about Firewhiskey. When I wake up, the headache hits me like the punch of a gorilla in the face and I just want to die quickly.

"Oh fuck."

There's a low chuckle and I realize I've been once again sleeping sprawled on Severus. My head is resting on his shoulder and my arm is on his chest and- oh God, I think one of my legs is between his. He's going to kill me. I try to move but it's a very, very bad idea.

"Shit. I'm never drinking again."

"That's what everyone with a hangover says. Drink."

A warm hand tilts my head back as I obediently open my mouth and something is poured down my throat. I knew it, he's going to kill me. With a very disgusting poison that tastes like rotten eggs and cat litter. Not that I have ever tasted those things, mind you, but you get the idea. I think I might be sick.

"Don't move. Don't try to open your eyes."

Best advice ever. I bury my face further in his shoulder – if I'm going to die, at least I want to be comfortable. After a few minutes, I'm feeling really better and I sigh with relief against the soft fabric of his pajama. I nearly jump out of bed when two strong arms suddenly push me away none too gently. Ah. Old grumpy Severus is back. I open my eyes cautiously but it doesn't hurt anymore. It's still dark in the room, but I can see Severus lying stiffly beside me, a faint blush on his pale cheeks. What the hell is he embarrassed about now?

"Severus, what the hell is in this potion you've given me?"

"Hangover potion. My own recipe."

"Well, thanks. It's amazing. Do you think we could sell it? You'd make them, and I'd take care of the selling part. I know several clubs where... Well, anyway, this stuff is fantastic and we could make a lot of money with it. What do you think?"

"I think you're talking too much. And selling potions to Muggles is illegal."

"That's a pity. And you wizards are so selfish. Letting us poor ordinary people suffer from horrible hangovers when you've got this stuff? That's bloody unfair, let me tell you."

I see the corners of his mouth slightly rise and I smile broadly. He shakes his head and rolls his eyes. I chuckle.

"Shit. I hope I didn't say anything embarrassing. Or do anything embarrassing. I didn't, did I?"

His eyes twinkle mischievously for a moment.

"Well, you did dance on the kitchen table in your underwear, but-"

"You bastard! For a second I thought I did something like that!" I hit him playfully on the upper arm and he laughs, his head thrown back on the pillow, baring his scarred throat, looking more carefree and happier that I've ever seen him. I freeze. I want to reach out to him. I want to kiss him. I want to make him laugh like that over and over again. I just want him. Shit, shit, shit. Of all the stupid things to do, honestly. When will I ever learn?

"Severus... Have you thought about what I told you yesterday? About the spell and all?"

I see something briefly flicker in his black eyes, before his whole face changes into that horrible blank mask again.

"Don't do that..." I whisper, touching his cheek very lightly. "Don't shut me out like that."

He moves suddenly and sits on the edge of the bed, his back to me.

"I'll do it. But I don't know if I can tell you about... about what sort of man I really am. Even if you won't remember in the end."

"I know what sort of man you are, Severus. You're just going to tell me about the things of your past you've done or seen that are too heavy to bear alone. That's all. Those are not who you are."

Severus snorts and stands up.

"Please remember that when I'll tell you exactly what I've done."

"Nothing you could tell me could make me turn my back on you. I promise. I told you I would listen to you and let you get it all out, because you need it, and I will."

I can't see his face because he stands with his back to me, and I'd like to know what he's thinking so badly I nearly catch his wrist to make him turn around. Which would probably be a terrible idea.

"Will you tell me about the man I saw in your memories?"

I nearly choke on my own spit, but I know I can't say no. How could I?

"Yes. Yes, I will." The words burn a hole through my chest and I hope I'll be strong enough to do what he asks from me.

"I'll bring you a cup of coffee."

His voice is gentle and soft, as if he knows how much it costs me to accept. I feel like crying. Or drinking myself into oblivion.

Since the second idea is not an option, I bury my face in Severus' pillow and let the tears out, surrounded by the man's scent and the warmth that lingers in the sheets.

HP-HP-HP-HP

I'm reading my own letter for the fourth time, wondering why the hell I'm not better with words. I hope they'll understand. Above all, I hope they won't resent Severus for being the one to cast the spell. It's my idea and my choice, after all.

"When?"

"What?"

"When do you want to do it?"

Severus leans casually against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest, clad in those black robes of his.

"Tonight. And you really should wear something else, you know. Maybe jeans with a nice button-down or a jumper. Pearl grey. Or dark blue, maybe. Definitely not green, you're much too pale. Would make you look sick. And you'd look fantastic in a three-piece suit, with your hair tied back like that."

"It's a good thing you'll soon be gone, since I have absolutely no intention of letting you dress me like a bloody doll."

I feel my smile disappear and he looks away. I try to read the damn letter once again.

"I... I apologize."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. I just... I'm not used to that type of relationship, and with you leaving I'm even more confused. I'm not good with people. I am sorry."

"It's okay, Severus."

This time it really is. I smile and he smiles back, and it's a bit shy and awkward but that's okay as well.

HP-HP-HP-HP

I wonder where the last eight hours have gone. It's already late and we're having tea after dinner around the kitchen table. I'm aware that I'm trying to imprint every expression and every word in my mind, even if there's no use, I can't help myself. I can't believe that tomorrow I won't remember any of it. Maybe deep inside I still hope it won't work. It doesn't help that I'm feeling Severus' eyes on me all the time. Suddenly Harry moves in his chair and cups Draco's face with both hands, kissing him full on the lips. Then he puts his arm around the blonde's shoulders and looks at us with shining eyes, like he's challenging us. Draco's face is a deep shade of pink and he's looking at his plate intently. I look at Hermione and we both chuckle, and Harry's eyes are suddenly wide.

"Oh, for pity's sake, Harry, we already know and we're happy for you two." Hermione's voice is slightly strangled, and I know she's trying not to laugh.

"You know?"

"Mate, honestly. Even I got it days ago. I think you should find a different way to tell Ginny, though. I doubt seeing you two looking ready to shag on the kitchen table would make her sympathetic to your cause."

Severus snorts beside me.

"That being said, if you ever feel the urge to shag on the kitchen table, please do so."

"Hermione!"

Ron looks half offended and half amused, and Harry and Draco are visibly mortified.

We laugh and discuss a bit more, and suddenly I'm not so sad. It's the perfect way to spend our last evening together – because only Severus and I know it's the last for me, and that way everyone behaves more naturally, and it's just... good. I bid everyone goodnight, trying not to crush them too much with my hugs, and more quickly than I'd like I find myself sitting on my bed, with Severus standing in front of me, looking ill-at-ease – and possibly ill in his body too, if the greyish shade of his skin is any clue.

"Would you like me to begin?"

"As you wish."

There's only one candle in the room, and I'm suddenly glad for the near darkness.

"Okay. Could you please sit, Severus? You're already intimidating, no need to tower me like that."

He does as requested, facing me from his own bed, and I've suddenly to fight the urge to go and sit beside him and let him take me in his arms. Instead I take a deep breath and try to steel myself.

"His name is Mark. He was my fiancé."

It's not as hard as I thought it would be. It doesn't hurt that much, in fact. Maybe I'll be able to tell him. Maybe I'm healed.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K. Rowling, obviously, but thanks for asking.

**Warnings:** Probably some violence.

**AN:** Wow, but this one was hard to write... I hope you'll like it. And it's not the end! Not yet... As usual, R&R please!

"I thought… I thought he was the man of my life. My other half. I thought I couldn't live without him. I was so naïve, so foolish. I know now that it's not what love is about. You have to be complete without the one you love. They just make you better. They must not be your other half, but your partner, your best friend, someone who'll take your hand and with whom you'll make your way through life. But I didn't know all this back then."

I close my eyes, trying to shake the memory of dark blond hair and smiling blue eyes.

"He was so nice at first. So caring. I should have known something was wrong, but I was too blinded, I was in too deep. He moved in with me, and before I knew it we were engaged. Things slowly began to change from that point. He wasn't so nice anymore. Always pointing things I wasn't doing right. Always saying how some parts of my body were too big or too small. He could be all smiles and tender gestures, especially when we were out with friends or family. Well, his family. My parents are dead and my brother lives in New Zealand. But when we were alone… he kept on making me feel unworthy. He could tell me for hours how lucky I was to have him with all my faults. A few weeks before our wedding day, I began suspecting he was having an affair. I should have seen the signs before, but I guess I wasn't ready."

It's like I'm talking from someone else. There are times when I can't believe I've been stupid enough to believe all his lies.

"The day I asked him about his affair was the day he left me. Just like that. He didn't even try to deny it. He just stood here, laughing. Then he packed his things and he was gone. I spent three days crying and throwing up in my flat. And then I decided it was enough. That bastard had made me quit my previous job, telling me I wasn't good enough anyway and I should try to take care of him and of the flat instead. So, well, I found that job at Starbucks and started to live again. Has been pretty hard, at first. I felt like I had to learn everything all over again. But, in the end, I think I've done well enough. I'm quite proud of myself, in fact."

"As you should. Emma… Do you still love him?"

"No. No I don't." I smile at his concerned face. There's pain in his eyes, and for the first time I know it's not his own. It's mine. He feels my pain, my hurt. I stand up and kneel in front of him, pushing his knees apart and taking his hands in mine.

"I'm not even sure if there was love in the first place. Maybe I was more in love with the idea of being in love."

I sit back on my heels, and squeeze his hands once.

"Do you still want to tell me? I don't want to force you into something you're not ready or willing to do, you know."

"I know. I'm just concerned about your reaction."

"Severus… I… Whatever it is you have to tell me, I promise to listen and not to interrupt you. I can't promise I won't be shocked or maybe afraid, but I promise I'll listen. And remember you will make me forget afterwards. It's not about me, it's about you. It's about making you feel better."

"Of course it's about you, too. I just…"

He sighs and I try to stay still. I'm aware of the importance of this moment, of the braveness the man before me needs to do this. I'm aware of the way his eyes close slowly, of his hands painfully tightening their grip on mine, of the shiver that goes through his body.

And the words come, in a never-ending flow, and I'm overwhelmed by the loneliness and the pain and the fear that have been surrounding Severus for most of his life. There are blood and murders and near-death experiences, there are missions that went wrong and people he couldn't protect. There is guilt, so much guilt, and anger too. There is the murder that haunts him the most, this old wizard who was both his mentor and his boss and in a way also his tormentor – keeping him as a spy all those years, letting him drown himself in his guilt to make him accept anything.

There are a few happy memories. Very few. His mother. The years as Slytherin's head and the students who trusted him enough to confide in him – his "snakes". Harry's forgiveness and Draco's trust. Voldemort's death and the end of his role as a spy. The little party we've had after he's been injured. His voice drops to a barely audible whisper and I have to lean forward to hear him. I'd like to wipe the tears on my face but I don't want to move my hands away from his, I don't want to disturb him in any way.

"And there are… the two mornings when I woke up with you in my bed. You were sleeping trustingly next to me, cuddling me even, as if I was a good man. As if I was worthy of affection. It was… I have no words."

I kiss him. I don't care that I'll be gone tomorrow. I don't care that I'll never see him again, that I won't even remember. He stays frozen for a second or two, and then exhales slowly against my lips, and I cup his face, deepening the kiss as I try to let him know just how much he's worthy. How much I care. How much I want him for who he is now.

That first kiss is surprisingly tender considering Severus' sarcastic disposition, but I guess it's exactly what we both need right now. It slowly grows into something much less gentle, with his hands on the back of my head as if he's afraid I'll try to flee. How could I?

I suspected he would be passionate and I'm not disappointed. I don't want to think too much about the way his kisses and touches are a bit desperate, a bit shuddering. I try to memorize every seconds, every caress, every new feeling as our skins melt together.

And as I straddle him later, with his hands clenched almost painfully on my naked thighs and our heavy breathings echoing in the dark room, I want to remember the way he's looking at me, his eyes locked with mine with a myriad of feelings showing on his face – awe and tenderness and passion and some others that I can't read. I want to keep that, at least, and I pray for the first time in years, I pray to be allowed to keep the memory of that look, because I'm sure no one has ever looked at me this way before.

Afterwards, as he brings me back to my flat, I hug him tightly.

"Take care of yourself, Severus. Allow yourself to be happy. You deserve it. And keep an eye on Harry and Draco for me, will you?"

Shit, I'm crying. How fucking stupid am I? Severus bents down and whispers in my ear, and the sound of his deep voice is enough to make me shiver. God, but I'm hopeless.

"I will. Just stay as you are, Emma. You're perfect. You're an angel. Forgive me. Obliviate."

Blackness surrounds me and I pass out, and the feeling of Severus arms around me is the last thing I'm aware of.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K. Rowling, obviously, but thanks for asking.

**Warnings:** Probably some violence.

**AN:** **One more interlude in Severus' POV! **

And it's still not the end ^^ I've got one - or maybe two chapters left after this one. Thanks to my reviewers and followers, and please, let me know what you're thinking!

_I'm crying. For the first time in years, I'm really crying. She's there, lying on her bed, where I've left her. She's sleeping peacefully now. Tomorrow morning she'll wake up with no memory of the past days. No memory of me or of what I've told her earlier. No memory of our lovemaking either – and Salazar, but I can't remember feeling that connected to someone, because it hasn't just been bodies and physical pleasure. I've somehow given myself to her, letting her see me in a way nobody had before. I was naked in more ways than one, allowing her to know who I am and what I've done. I may have taken her but she possessed me like no one else before._

_And now I've lost her, and the pain of it is crushing me. After all I've been through, after everything I've survived, it's somehow ironic that a stubborn and irritating petite woman with short hair and tattoos is able to nearly destroy me without even trying to. Quite on the contrary, in fact. I know she's been trying to save me. I know she saw the darkness in me and tried to make me throw it up before it could choke me. Maybe she was right. Maybe I needed to get it out of my system, to tell someone who wouldn't judge me – because they would not remember._

_But I've won – and lost – more than that in the process. Maybe it will be enough, the memory of being seen as a whole man. A man worthy of being teased, of being comforted, touched and kissed. It will have to be enough, for there is nothing else I will get. And I feel I owe her. She wanted me to go on and live and I feel I have to try, at the very least. I don't dare touch her a last time, because I'm afraid I won't be able to leave – it's already the hardest thing I've ever had to do, to let her go back to her life. I look at her intently, trying to memorize every single detail before I Apparate away._

_My little angel. My little tattooed fairy. I love you._


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K. Rowling, obviously, but thanks for asking.

**Warnings:** Probably some violence.

**AN: **I'm pretty sure some of you hate me for letting her be Obliviated. But believe me, it had to be that way ^^ ! Anyway, here you are! A new chapter and a lot of things happening! R&R please!

_**3 months later. Severus' POV.**_

_**HP-HP-HP-HP**_

She's there. Talking to her colleagues, laughing with people when she hands them their coffee with that wonderful smile of hers. Looking happy and healthy and beautiful. As she always does. I stay outside of the coffee shop, watching her some more. My injured leg is throbbing painfully, urging me to move, but I don't care. I'm used to pain. And physical pain is not the worse. I should go. I can't.

I've spent the last months fighting restlessly the last remaining Death Eaters, getting badly injured in the process, testifying during trials, and watching her from afar.

Watching her as she works, putting smiles on everyone's face, getting on with people so easily and naturally. She's a very tactile person, and gives people thousands of those casual and friendly little touches, and she laughs and smiles and of course they're charmed, all of them. I keep telling myself I'm not jealous.

Watching her as she runs on mornings, wearing a ridiculously tight pink and black outfit that makes me want to do violent things to by passers.

Watching her as she goes out with friends on evenings, generally drinking beer – but whenever she's upset or tired she orders that awful drink with gin and lime and lots of ice, and she sips it with closed eyes, letting her friends talk inanely around her.

Watching her as she sometimes has this faraway look in her eyes, the one that makes me stupidly hope that maybe... But no, it's nothing and I know it.

I don't know why I'm still searching for any sign, anything that could mean that she's experiencing what Hermione's parents did when she Obliviated them during the war. I don't know why I keep listening to her and to Harry and Draco. Or maybe I know and I simply don't want to acknowledge it. I'm about to go, telling myself as always that I will not come back, when she turns around and I suddenly see the left side of her neck. I can't move. I can barely breathe. I'm sure it has not been there three days ago. Fucking hell.

My body moves before my mind can analyze what I've seen, and I'm in front of her, with just the counter between us, and I'm staring stupidly at her neck.

"Good morning, sir."

"Good morning E-" I nearly say her name out loud. "A coffee, please. Black. To go. Tall. Please." Shit, what the hell is wrong with me? She's looking at me curiously, but not unkindly. Never unkindly.

She nods, and before I know it, she hands me my coffee in one of those paper cups with a smile and I give her muggle money and I mutter a goodbye and leave, panting heavily. She has not recognized me – well, of course she hasn't. But that tattoo... It can't be a coincidence. She must feel something, some part of her must remember.

Why else would she get a tattoo of an angel cradling a snake in her arms? I take a sip of the coffee to steady myself, and I nearly choke on it when I see the cup. She's written something in a round and neat handwriting. _'Have a nice day, handsome.' _Is that daft woman fucking blind?

I stand outside of the coffee shop for what could be minutes or hours, and suddenly Emma walks around the counter holding a mug and sits in a quiet corner with a book, probably taking a break. My leg is stiff and I'm limping worse than ever as I make my way to her table. I sit in front of her before I'm invited to do so, mostly because I'm afraid my leg will give out if I stand any longer.

"Are you okay, sir?"

I want to laugh. Of course I'm not okay. I've never been okay in my whole life, except maybe for a few moments where I've had this woman in my arms.

"Do you remember me, Emma?"

She looks confused, but not afraid. She frowns, studying me intently.

"I'm afraid not. Should I?"

"No." I have to do it. I have to do it now or I will never, and I'm not sure I can go on like this. "No, you should not. But now you will, Angel."

Her eyes widen and she grips the table with both hands. Then she lets out a choked sob and stands up, looking at me with tear-filled eyes. I open my mouth to say something, but she shakes her head and flees. I follow her outside, walking as fast as I could with my fucking leg.

She's leaning on the wall a few meters away from the coffee shop. She has one hand on her mouth and her other arm is over her belly, as though she's protecting herself. She raises her gaze as soon as I'm in front of her, and I wait.

She slaps me. I guess I deserve that, in a way.

Then she hugs me. I'm not sure if I deserve that. It's good, though.

"Emma, I'm sorry. I just... I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you come sooner?" Her voice is a bit muffled as she speaks against my chest but I don't want her to move.

"I've been there, Emma. I've been watching you for the past three months. I've been waiting for a sign... Did you know Hermione had to Obliviate her parents during the war? Well, they did not remember her, but her mother said afterwards that she sometimes searched the house for something. She didn't know what, but she felt as if something was missing. And her father kept on dreaming of someone he didn't know. Hermione told me that the spell makes one forget the memories, but that even magic can't erase deep feelings like love or friendship. That's why I've been watching you. To find a sign that you were somehow remembering us, in a way."

"What have you seen today that convinced you?"

"You tattoo." I whisper, and she raises her head to look at me, and Merlin, I want to kiss her. I know I have no right to, but it doesn't stop the raw need I'm feeling.

"Fuck, my tattoo. Of course. I've been obsessed with that design for weeks, and I didn't even know why. Of course..." Suddenly she laughs and looks over my shoulder. "I would recognize that silver-blond hair anywhere. Maybe we should ask Draco and Harry to join us."

She waves happily and I spot the two idiots across the road. They probably followed me this morning. Salazar knows they've been pestering me to lift the spell on Emma often enough. I release her and try to ignore the brand new pain in my chest as she hugs them both exactly the way she's hugged me. Harry is suddenly blabbing in his usual way, explaining how we got rid of the villains and how Draco and him will get bonded next week. The blonde keeps his eyes on me the whole time, and I suddenly regret to have trained him the way I did.

"We missed you so much and we tried to convince Severus but he just repeated that you were probably happy and we had no right to disturb you. Hermione told him about her parents – did he tell you? Oh, great – and so we were hoping he'd do it at one point. And it's perfect because we're getting bonded next week and we want you there and of course Severus has no date so this way you can come with him."

"Breathe, Harry." Emma chuckles a bit before her face becomes more serious. "Two questions. What the hell is this bonding thing and why is the big sarcastic idiot limping that way?"

Harry opens his mouth again but thankfully Draco beats him to it.

"Harry and I are getting bonded. It's a bit like a marriage, but we will bond our lives and our magics together. And Severus is limping because he is restless and workaholic since you're gone. He's been badly injured during our last operation. It's a good thing we're done with this, because I've been afraid he'll get himself killed sooner or later with the way he's been acting."

I scowl at him but he smirks and raises a blond eyebrow. Shit. I've gone soft if I can't even impress younger people.

"Well, the limping old man I am would like to sit down before he passes out on the pavement."

"I've got to get back to work. I'll be done in two hours. Harry, could you pick me up then? In the meantime, make that one lie down."

She smiles at us, and kisses Harry on the cheek.

"God, I'm so happy to have you all back. There were times I thought I was insane. I've been feeling so numb, so disconnected... As if something was missing, but I couldn't say what. See you later then!"

Draco gently takes my arm as she jogs back to the shop. I'm the one feeling numb right now. She has missed us. She's happy to have us back. I should be content with that, it's enough, it's more that I deserve, and the two young men with me are so relieved to have their muggle friend back. But I want more. I'd hoped to have more. But one night don't mean anything, does it? And now that she remembers evertyhing I told her, she's probably disgusted with me anyway. I've been fooling myself, I've been blinded by my feelings and I've let myself hope she could love me back.

I nearly hope Draco will mess up and get me Splinched when he Apparates us away.

Of course he doesn't.

HP-HP-HP-HP

"Will you tell me what happened between you two the night when you Obliviated her?"

Draco looks at me with gentle eyes. I'm lying on the couch like a sick child - Salazar how I hate being that weak. And I've little hope that my leg will ever get any better. Serves me right.

"I told her exactly what kind of monster I am."

"Severus. You're not a monster, and you know it. You have to forgive yourself. You paid your debt tenth times at least. It's time to let the past behind you. As for Emma, I think it's quite simple, really."

Draco has that infuriating look of superiority he's inherited from his father, but there are tenderness and amusement in his eyes as he goes on.

"You love her. She already knows who you are and what you've done. Let her the time to adjust - after all she's got back all her memories today, and it's a lot to take in, if you ask me. Since she's your date for our bonding ceremony, it will be the perfect occasion to make your move."

"Draco, it's not that simple, I-"

"Shut up, Severus. You are a Slytherin. Since when do you give up so easily on something you want so badly? Think about what you're going to wear, what you're going to say to her. Make sure you'll seduce her - even if I'm sure it won't take much efforts on your part. In the meantime, be her friend and don't lock yourself in."

He's gone before I can answer anything.

Should I even bother? I'm sure she doesn't want me that way. But what is there to lose anyway? It can't be worse.

_Think about what you're going to wear._ Shit. I need help on that one.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K. Rowling, obviously, but thanks for asking.

**Warnings:** Probably some violence.

**AN: **And we're back in Emma's POV for that one. Still not the end... I can't seem to be able to let those two go ^^ ! So perhaps one more chapter after this one... Or maybe two, we'll see! Anyway, R&R please!

He's lying on the couch, a glass of what seems to be Firewhiskey in his right hand. He's looking strong and fragile, intensely powerful and strangely vulnerable. I want to hold him. I want to kiss him and ask him to give me a chance. Instead I just kneel on the rug next to him, enjoying the way his face is suddenly flushed.

"Hey. How do you feel?"

"I'm perfectly fine. I'm not a bloody crippled old man."

I chuckle.

"I never thought you were. And even if you were, I would know better than to say it out loud."

There's the tiniest smile on his lips and I smile back.

"God, but I've missed you."

"You didn't remember."

"Still. I knew something was missing. You were missing. And Harry and Draco, and all of you. Harry has told me earlier how he asked your Minister a special permission for me. He's quite stubborn, isn't he?"

"That he is. Not to mention Draco sided with him. Nobody can deny those two anything, especially when they're together."

"I'm so happy for them. I can' wait to see this bonding ceremony. Seems pretty cool."

"It is not cool, Emma. It is a very old and respectable wizarding tradition that bonds two-"

"Yes, yes. So, tell me, how did Ginny react?"

There's an evil gleam in his eyes and I grin. What has he done?

"She might have seen them in a compromising position."

"Oh. And how come?"

"I might have opened the wrong door as I wanted to show her the redecorating you had done in the upper rooms."

"You might?"

"Yes. A regrettable mistake, I'm afraid."

His eyes are shining and I burst of laughing.

"Oh shit, I would have liked to see that. That's not very nice of me, but... You know."

"She has come to terms with it now, though. I think it was for the best, it would have been cruel to let her delude herself further."

"That's true. So, you'll be Draco's best man, I heard. I hope you're not planning to wear those awful black robes of yours. Though I must say that jumper is nice."

"It's Draco's. I couldn't very well parade in the Muggle world in wizard's robes."

"Well, it suits you. And don't even get me started on the jeans, Severus."

"I know, I told Draco they were way too tight and I-"

"Are you kidding me? They're not too tight, believe me. I think everyone with eyes would agree."

I smirk and he looks away.

"Will your leg get better? Harry said your injury was really bad."

"It was. I will probably limp for the rest of my life, but I hope I'll be able to stand longer in a few months. It's bloody annoying."

"What happened, Severus?"

"It's none of your business."

The tone is cold and flat, and he still doesn't look at me. Can it be that I've been wrong? Is it possible that the night we spent together didn't mean anything to him? I suppose it is possible, but I've hoped since this morning that Severus came back for me. That he did it because he felt something for me, and not just because Harry and Draco missed me. I absently raise my hand to touch my new tattoo and Severus' eyes are suddenly back on me, his eyes riveted to my neck.

There. I knew it wasn't only wishful thinking on my part. I can see sadness, hope and something else in his eyes. Maybe his hesitation has more to do with the way he sees himself than with me. Maybe he's just as much in love with me as I'm with him – and just doesn't want to believe in it.

"You know, Severus, maybe you should ask yourself why exactly my mind decided it would be a good idea to have this tattooed on my skin. An angel and a snake, of all things. I have to go home. I'll see you next Friday, Hermione and I will go and do some shopping and then I'll be staying here for the week end, with the bonding and all."

I stand up, and before I leave I hear him whisper.

"Why did you do it?"

I don't know if he's talking about my tattoo, about that last night, about something else entirely. I answer anyway.

"Because I wanted to, Severus."

HP-HP-HP-HP

I'm not so sure about the dress anymore. It seemed perfect yesterday, and Hermione agreed enthusiastically but now... I sigh and look at my reflection once more. The deep emerald green is definitely a good choice, at least. With my hair and my fair skin, it looks rather good. But the fifties cut seems all wrong now, showing too much skin – and enhancing my short haircut and my tattoos.

I've never felt very self-conscious since my break-up with Mark. But I don't want to embarrass Severus, and I've seen all the elegant women downstairs, with their sophisticated hairdo and makeup and I'm feeling out of place. I slip my feet in the black high heels shoes I've bought yesterday. At least I know how to walk with these, so that I won't make a fool of myself. There's a soft knock on the door and I stand up to open the door, and I find myself face to face with Severus.

Fucking hell.

Severus is clad in a grey three-pieces suit, his black hair tied on his neck just the way I like it. I was right. He's fucking sexy in that suit.

"Wow" I blurt out. I feel a very embarrassing blush creeping up my cheeks.

"I remember you said I should wear something like that."

"Definitely a good choice. Shit, Severus, you're... Wow."

"Are you ready?"

"Hum, I don't know, I... Er..."

His face closes suddenly, and he looks at his shoes.

"Charlie Weasley has just arrived from Romania. He has no date. Maybe he would be a more suitable date for you."

Fuck. I knew it, I should have picked another dress. I feel tears burning my eyes and I struggle to keep a hold on myself. It would not do to ruin my makeup on top of it all.

"I'm sorry" I whisper, because, it's true, I am. "I'll go on my own, alright? I don't want to embarrass anyone."

"What?"

I try to exit the room but he catches my arm and makes me walk backwards, closing the door softly behind him.

"What the hell are you talking about? I just thought you may want to go with a young and handsome man instead of, well, me. What's that non-sense about embarrassing someone?"

I just shake my head, because there's that funny lump in my throat.

"You have no idea how gorgeous you are, have you? You have no idea how unworthy I feel when I look at you. Do you know what I've done during the last three months? I've gone crazy, that's what I've done. Working like a madman to avoid thinking of you every damn minute of the day. Stalking you, watching you from afar with your stupid boots and your habit to touch everyone and your fucking smiles. Nearly getting myself killed a few times because all I could think about was you, and how dull my life was without you."

He's too close, his words make no sense and I feel like fainting. It's wonderful.

"When I saw this" he trails his fingertips along my neck and I shiver helplessly "I knew I could not wait any longer. So I said the word, the one that would lift the charm and make you remember."

He's looking in my eyes now, as if he's searching for something there. As if he's trying to decide what he will do or say next.

"If you want to go with me, I'll be honored. I won't say it doesn't amaze me, because it does. And if after today you want to see me again, then I'll do my best over and over again to keep you, to be worthy of you. And if you don't want to, then I'll stay away from you, or I'll be just your friend. I love you, Emma. I'll do anything it takes to make you happy."

I still don't seem to have the control of my voice, so I decide to talk with my hands. And my lips.

A few breathless moments later, as our foreheads rest together – those high heels come quite in handy, actually – his gaze suddenly turns harder.

"You are aware that I won't let you out of my sight today, right? There are too many single men and too few beautiful women."

I chuckle.  
"Are you saying I'm yours, Severus?"

"Not in the way that you belong to me, no. But I'm yours because I've given myself to you, body, mind and soul that night we spent together. And I hope someday you'll be mine in the same way."

"I already am, Severus. I already am." His smile is blinding and I kiss him some more. "Shit, Severus, we'd better hurry. Draco will have our heads if we ruin his bonding."

"Pity. I would really like to know what you're wearing under this very interesting dress."

I toy with the idea of telling him that I'm naked underneath the dress but I finally keep that for later – Draco will really kill us both if we're late. Maybe I'll tell him during dinner, just to see what shade of pink he's able to reach.

I'm feeling strangely confident when I enter the crowded garden on Severus' arm. It may have something to do with the way the very attractive man in a three-pieces suit is looking at me.


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K. Rowling, obviously, but thanks for asking.

**Warnings:** Probably some violence.

**AN:** Severus' POV again, because... just because ^^. And after this one, only the epilogue I think! R&R please!

"Hiding, Severus?"

Draco's soft voice makes me jump and I curse myself inwardly for being so distracted.

"Certainly not."

"She's gorgeous. Be careful or someone may steal her from you."

I look as she dances with Harry, laughing as he clumsily makes her turn in his arms. Do I deserve her? Will it not be my worst sin to be with her, to taint her?

"Don't fuck this up, Severus. I'm serious."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Like hell you don't. I know you. You're thinking about fleeing, because you somehow think you don't deserve her. But she's a smart and tough woman, she's not impressed by your 'I'm-an-evil-bastard' act and she likes all of us. She's chosen you – Merlin only knows why if you're stupid enough to let her go. She's just perfect for you. She's exactly what you need."

"Maybe it's not about her. Maybe it's about me. Maybe there's too much darkness in me."

"Look at her. Look at the both of them. There's enough light in them for us, Severus. Besides... There's light and darkness in everyone, you know. That's one of the things I've learned with Harry. What's important is to find someone who brings out the light in you."

"You really love him, don't you?"

"Yes, I do. Probably even more than I'm aware of. And he loves me, too. It took me a while to accept it, but he does."

I smile, because there's raw emotion in Draco's eyes and I know he's more happy and at peace that I've never seen him before. It warms me, that they've found happiness. Both of them. They've suffered so much, been through too many fights and seen too many deaths. But I'm sure that they'll be alright together.

"I am glad to see you happy, Draco."

His grey eyes look at me and all of a sudden he's hugging me, and I choke back a sob. Salazar, what are they all doing to me?

"Thank you, Severus. You know... You know you're like a father for me, right? For Harry as well."

"I know, son. I know."

It feels actually good, to hold him like that. I can see Emma and Harry still dancing a few feet away and I wonder if there's something like too much feelings, because it hurts a little in my chest. Draco slowly pulls away, and I don't like the gleam in his eyes one bit.

"Then you have to do something for us."

I knew it. That damn boy is a Slytherin to the core.

"Be happy, Severus. Don't deny yourself what's given to you. Allow Emma to love you, allow yourself to love her and to enjoy what is to come. I wish you could see yourself when she's around, you know. I wish you could see the look in your eyes."

I sigh. Can I make this work? Harry holds Emma tightly now, as they're dancing to a slow song, and I  
can't help the flare of jealousy when he whispers something that makes her chuckle. Shit.

"She'll drive me crazy."

"Probably. I mean, Harry's driving me insane. Half of the time I want to strangle him, and the other half I just want to snog him senseless. But it's a good kind of madness, you know. The kind that makes you feel alive. It's worth it. I think I'm going to dance with my husband, now, and thus save Emma's feet."

"I thought you didn't like to dance."

"I loathe dancing. But Harry loves to dance, even if he's pathetic at it. It makes him happy. So I'll dance with him. You should get your woman back, Severus. Dance with her."

I snort at the mere idea of dancing. But then I see how Draco whispers something to Emma and how he takes Harry in his arms with a blinding smile, and I see the astonishment and the pleasure on Harry's face, and the way they just melt in each other's arms like nothing around them exists anymore. And I see as Emma hesitates, alone in the crowded living-room, I see how she suddenly looks almost shy and lost, like a small child in spite of her high heels – and fuck, but her legs look amazing in them – and her dress – damn her if that emerald green and that soft-looking fabric don't make me want to touch her all the more.

I'm before her before I know it, taking her hand without a word and leading her back in the middle of the dancers. She doesn't hesitate as she places her free hand on my shoulder, and she smiles when I tentatively place mine on the small of her back.

"I didn't know you liked to dance, Severus."

"I wouldn't know. It's a first."

"Oh, dear God. Hopefully you won't step on my feet as much as Harry did, or I won't be able to walk back to my room."

I chuckle and I'm feeling suddenly bold. I lean forward to whisper in her ear, tightening my hold on her.

"Then I'll carry you to mine, Emma."

She takes a startled intake of breath before smiling softly, her eyes searching mine with something akin to hunger, and the sudden heat blossoming in my body surprises me.

"I think I won't be able to walk. In fact I think you should help me upstairs after this song. I need to lie down."

And Draco has been right. It's madness, the way we flee the living-room and the party like lovesick teenagers, laughing and holding hands, the way we stumble in the stairs, her because of her high heels and me because I'm feeling drunk, even I've had only a drink. It's madness, the way it feels when I kiss her as we finally reach my room, and how I can't keep my hands off her body, and how quickly we find ourselves lying on my bed, naked and flushed and smiling.

The joyful and almost giddy atmosphere slowly changes into something more serious as Emma touches my face softly.

"I think I'm in love with you." She whispers, and my heart misses a beat, as cliché as it sounds.

"Good. Because I have no intention to let you go again" I answer, and then I kiss her lips, and her neck, and her collarbone. And when Emma blurts out that she wants me, I know I'm lost, and it's a good kind of madness, because I've never felt more alive in my whole life. Last time she made love to me, and tonight it's my turn, and I take my sweet time, worshipping her body and drinking in the sight of her lying underneath me and looking at me like no one else has before, with trust, and awe, and desire.

I won't fuck this up. I can't. I'm a Slytherin, after all. Self-preservation is our first priority. And I won't survive without her.

I'm a broken and scarred man and she's my redemption. She's my chance, probably the last one, and I'll be damned if I let my angel fly away.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K. Rowling, obviously, but thanks for asking.

**Warnings:** Probably some violence.

**AN: **This won't be the last chapter, at least one more (you'll see why ^^ and don't kill the author!) - R&R please!

"Are you sure, Poppy ?"

"Yes, dear."

"He's going to kill me."

"Of course not. Don't judge him too quickly. I'm sure he'll be, er, maybe uncomfortable with the idea at first, but in the end everything will be alright, you'll see."

"Are you certain there are two of them?"

"Yes, Emma. You should relax, dear."

I bite my lower lip to avoid snapping at her, because, really? Relax? How the fuck am I supposed to relax? Just when I think everything is great, I fuck it up. Badly. Shit, shit, shit. Maybe I should go. But I know I can't. I will if he asks me to. I have no idea what to do, and my brain seems to freeze and burn at the same time – it's probably overwhelmed with too many thoughts. I know I am.

HP-HP-HP-HP

I keep it for myself for days, and days become weeks. It never seems to be the right moment. I'm a fucking coward and I know it. I try so selfishly keep what I have and not to think of what will happen when I'll tell him. Because I know I'll have to, sooner or later. And then Harry comes to me one evening, sitting next to me in the new couch of Grimmauld Place's living room, where we're all living now – Harry and Draco, Severus and I.

"When will you tell him?"

I choke on my coffee and spit it out on my book. Harry rubs my back with a smirk. Draco is obviously rubbing on him – no, not like that – and it's a bit frightening, actually.

"What?" I blurt out intelligently.

"When will you tell him?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Harry."

"Oh please. Give me a little credit. I might be a little oblivious when it comes to my own life" he rolls his eyes when I raise an eyebrow at that "and please stop raising your eyebrow like that, you're looking like Severus, it's weird and creepy. Where was I? Oh, yes! Well, anyway, it's obvious. Draco told me yesterday something was off with you, and I understood this morning. Too bad you can't cast Silencing Charms. Morning sickness?"

"Shit."

I'm crying. Why the hell am I crying?

"Oh no, Emma, please don't cry. I'm sorry. Come here, I'm sorry."

Harry takes me in his strong arms, whispering that it's alright, and even if I know it's absolutely not, I feel a little better now that I have someone to talk to.

"How long?"

"About eight weeks. But I've known for only six."

"Did you see Poppy?"

"Yes. She said everything is fine. Well, as fine as it can be."

"Okay, that's good. Why are you crying then? Because of Severus? I must admit I have trouble to picture him with a baby, but it could be kind of cute-"

"Babies. Plural."

"What?"

"Twins. I'm expecting fucking twins."

"Oh."

Oh, indeed. I think "oh" sums up the giant mess I'm currently in quite nicely.

"That's great! I can't wait to see them! Do you know if they're boys or girls?"

"No. I told Poppy not to tell me. I don't want to know. I'm not sure..."

Harry looks at me with wide eyes.

"Emma, you're not thinking... I mean..."

"No... I couldn't. I'm not sure why, because it's really a very bad idea to keep them, but I can't."

"What are you waiting for? You have to tell Severus he's going to be a father!"

"Harry... It's Severus! He's going to destroy me!"

"Don't be silly. He loves you. He'll be, er, surprised, but he'll come around, you'll see. Besides, how longer do you think you can hide it from him? The more you wait, the worse it will be, Emma. You know how he is... He'll feel betrayed."

I sigh explosively.

"I know, I'm just..."

"Hiding your head in the sand?"

"Shut up. You're supposed to be the good friend here, providing cuddles and uttering some nonsense."

"I can still cuddle if you'd like, but you know I'm right."

"Yeah... Shit."

"Language. Think of the babies, it will not do talking like that in front of them. Better get used to it right now."

"More cuddling, less talking, Harry."

HP-HP-HP-HP

I have to do it now, I know I cannot wait much longer, and if I don't right now, I'll probably do something stupid like running away. Severus has his back to me, as he's reading God only knows what on those parchments wizards are using – and really, they could learn some things about technology, I mean it's not as if computers and printers would endanger their lifestyle or – well, anyway Severus is alone in the library, and he's looking reasonably relaxed.

"Severus?"

"Yes?"

He turns to face me, a half-smile on his lips – the one he always has when he's looking at me, I realize.

"There's... There's something I have to tell you."

His face changes instantly and the awful blank mask I hate so much replaces it. I have to tell him quickly, or he will imagine the worst. Well, I'm not sure what exactly could be worse than what I'm about to tell him, but still.

"I wanted to tell you sooner, just... I didn't know how. I still don't know, to be honest. Shit, but it's hard."

"There's no need to sugarcoat the truth, Emma. I'm a grown man. I've survived worse than a woman leaving me."

"What? No, you don't understand, it's not-"

"I don't understand? I don't understand? Do you think I didn't expect it from the start?" His eyes are cold, and there's a mean sneer on his face. I feel like crying. "I've always known it, Emma. So, tell me, who's the lucky man? Have you already planned to live with him? How long has it been going on?"

I slap him. I can't help it. There are tears on my face and I'm shaking, and I can't believe he would just assume such things. I can't believe he thinks so lowly of me.

"I'm pregnant, you bastard!"

His mouth claps shut and his left cheek is red, and he's looking at me like he's not able to process my words.

"And before you ask, yes, they are yours! But it hardly matters, does it?"

I flee. I run as fast as I can, brushing past Draco and barely hearing him calling me. I flee.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K. Rowling, obviously, but thanks for asking.

**Warnings:** Probably some violence.

**AN: To the charming guest writing_"You wrote in your summary. "My favorite fic" well of course it's your __favorite you stupid bint, you wrote the damn thing":_ **okaaaaay... yes, I deleted your review. Yes, I wrote in the summary that this was my favourite fic... because I've actually written several fics. It's my favourite one amongst those... Now that this is cleared, may I kindly suggest some sort of stress release, in any form, because you seem pretty upset and I can't believe I'm the only cause for that - I would not be so presumptuous - except if that is actually your natural state, in which case I feel quite sorry for you.

That being said, please enjoy this one (or not) and review ^^

HP-HP-HP-HP

I hate magic. I really hate it. Partly because I'm living with three wizards, - and isn't it fucking unfair that I can't do any, honestly? – but mostly because I'm currently hanging upside down in the hallway. I didn't even make it to the frontdoor.

"Let me down, Severus, or I swear I'll… I'll… Well, I don't know what I'll do but you'll regret it! Let me down now!"

Severus merely raises an eyebrow and moves his wand, making me turn and land softly on my feet. I'm panting and I glare at him.

"What do you want?"

"Is it true?"

"No, it's a fucking joke. Happy now? Can I go?"

"Emma."

"Yes, it's true! Why would I lie about something like that for fuck's sake!"

Severus looks at me closely, and then he raises his hand, as if he wants to touch my belly, but instead his hand stays awkwardly hanging mid-air. My anger deflates as soon as I see his face. He's looking… lost. Overwhelmed. But above all, there's a raw pain in his eyes that I cannot bear.

"Severus… Shit. Look, I didn't plan any of this. I'm not asking you for anything. I just wanted you to know. So, yes, I'm pregnant. Twins. Yours."

"I'm… I'm sorry for what I said earlier, I'm… still convinced you'll find someone else sooner or later." I shake my head with exasperation and he gives me a weak smile. "I know, we already talk about that countless times. I'm sorry. Twins?"

"Yes. That's what Poppy said, at any rate. Though with what I regurgitate every morning I'm more than willing to believe her."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? How far are you?"

"About eight weeks. I didn't tell you because, well." I raise an eyebrow and he has the good grace to flush slightly.

"I can't." It's a pitiful whisper, like he's about to cry. "I can't be a father. I'm not… I can't."

"Of course you can. And you will."

Draco is leaning against the wall a few feet away, his arm around Harry, who's looking a bit worried but smiles to me all the same – God bless him, I don't think I know a kinder person.

"We've thought about it with Harry. The house is big enough for all of us, even with three kids. It'll be fun."

"Three?"

"Don't look at me, Severus, I said twins, and believe me it's more than enough."

"Teddy is coming to live with us."

Harry is practically glowing with happiness and Draco looks fondly at his husband. I roll my eyes but I can't help smiling.

"That's wonderful, Harry. You and Draco will be wonderful parents."

"Thanks, Emma. Well, anyway, we've thought about it and we think it would be for the best if we all stayed here. The first floor would be our common space, and we will divide the second and third floors in two separate spaces with bedrooms and bathrooms. I've already drawn some sketches." Draco smirks and Harry chuckles quietly.

Severus is gaping at them in a comical way and I don't know if I should cry or laugh. Maybe it has something to do with the bloody pregnancy hormones.

"Draco, it's hardly the problem, I mean-"

"Oh, shut up, Severus. What will you do? Let her go? You're a fucking coward. You love her, she makes you happier than you realize, and you are going to have a family thanks to her."

"I… I don't think…"

"Severus…" Harry looks at him almost tenderly. "We've talked about it, remember? When I told you about Teddy? Do you remember what you said to me? That I would make a great father, even if I'd been abused as a child. Even if I didn't know how. Don't you think it applies to you too?"

Severus shakes his head stubbornly, but I see the change in his face.

"Harry, Draco? Could you let us a moment, please?"

They simply nod and leave, and I love them all the more.

"Severus, look at me. Severus."

He does, his dark eyes filled with unshed tears. I take a few steps forward and take his hands in mine.

"Look, I can't force you to do anything, and even if I could, I wouldn't. But… They are magical children, both of them. I've got no idea how to raise children, let alone magical ones. I love you, you know that, even if you can be a real stupid and stubborn bastard sometimes. I think all parents have to learn, you know. We can do it, together. Plus the children will have two amazing uncles – crazy, both of them, but amazing. I… I need you, Severus. Please tell me that you'll at least think about it, okay? Let me know when you've decided."

I let go of his hands and turn around to leave. I've barely reached the door when I hear him.

"Emma?"

"Yes, Severus?"

"I think… I think I've decided."

I try to swallow the gigantic lump in my throat currently threatening to choke me and fail. He's looking straight at me, his face stern and decided. Fuck.

"You're aware we will have to choose the two idiots as godfathers, aren't you?"

I nearly sob with relief.

"Yes. Yes, well, you know, it could be worse. I think. Probably."

"I'm sorry. I can't believe… It's madness, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is."

I find my way in his arms. God, but it feels good. Severus holds me tightly, so tightly.

"Twins?"

"Yes."

"Merlin."

"Yes."

HP-HP-HP-HP

Severus is asleep in the chair next to my bed, our two babies snoring loudly on his chest – I didn't know babies were making so much noise while sleeping, actually.

Our babies. Two little girls with fair skin and dark hair – their eyes are still deep blue, but I'm willing to bet they'll have black eyes like their dad. Sally and Lea.

Severus is completely smitten with his daughters, and all doubts we might have had before the birth are now gone. Yes, it's fucking hard. Yes, it's unsettling and tiring and most of the time I just want to sleep for more than two bloody hours. But Severus and I are together in this. And the girls' godfathers are doing a good job helping us, even with their little Teddy – and that kid is a sweet little boy.

I think we'll survive. I think we'll be alright.

More than alright, actually. I think we're ridiculously happy, even with bags under our eyes and vomit on our shoulders.

I wake up curled against Severus every morning – and several times during the night, with the little demons eating their bottles like demented vampires – and I'm here when he's got one of those terrible nightmares. We're a team, and we're good together. That's what love is about, and I'm glad, so terribly glad I found it.

As cliché as it sounds, future looks bright.

It's just the beginning.

**Final AN:** I really had fun writing this one - maybe because of Emma, maybe because I put some of myself in her, or maybe because it was different. I hope you've had as much fun reading it. Prince's Choice of Doom is nearly finished too, and then I'll be back again, I"ve already got the idea. Have fun and don't forget how worthy you are.


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